


Dream Boy

by kiahood



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 20:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2886128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiahood/pseuds/kiahood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After struggling from nightly nightmares, Merlin's parents decide to send him to a mental hospital to receive better help. Although he is highly against his parents' plan, he soon becomes friends with the owner's son, Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

 

The heavy rain hammered against the windows, as if it tried breaking it and destroying everything inside.

Of course that wasn't the truth, but it felt that way because _he_ felt that way. It was ridiculous, to pretend like the rain and a car window could symbolize his situation, yet it seemed fitting enough. Pressing his left temple against the vibrating pane, his eyes were focused on the slowly reappearing sun that gave color to the world once again. Despite the car ride taking not more than an hour, it seemed to take longer than sixty minutes. Maybe it was due to him not listening to music and instead only staring at the world outside, whilst ignoring his parents, that time seemed to pass by slower than usual. It wasn't, as though he couldn't have talked to his parents, sitting in the front seats, but he had made a point by not having said a word to them in days, wherefore he was not going to back out of that now. Besides being his stubborn self, he was also not looking forward to changing his ways now. Ignoring his parents wasn't a hormonal teenage act, seeing as he had been over that by now, but rather an act of wrath. And although those past four sentences would indicate differently, the raven-haired did love his parents, not to mention the afford they put into his well-being. What drove him slightly mad, however, was the ambition they had put into their life goal of curing their son. He knew it was impossible and there were many therapists that would agree with that. Seeing therapists wasn't something he had fought a lot and he would do it again. What he did fight, was his parents giving in to their friends' recommendation of sending a nineteen-year-old, who had been suffering from the so called _Nightmare Disorder_ his entire life, to a mental hospital. Unfortunately enough, all the fighting and arguing had not helped him convince his parents that committing him to an institution was not the key to salvation either. That all didn't matter now. Although the young man knew his parents were upset about him ignoring them, they were not going weak on it either.

For the remaining half hour of the drive, the male decided to close his eyes and doze a little. The uneven road made it challenging to doze and really relax, but it was still better than the constantly recurring nightmares. Soon, they got off the main road and drove down a small, quiet road that was surrounded by nothing but trees. After a minute of driving down the road, the family finally arrived at the end of it, followed by an open gate with a sign next to it that read _Crimson House_ in capital letters. Driving past that, they had to drive a bit more until they reached the old building and cycled around the bushes that had been planted in front of the entrance. Parking where the car was not in the way for others, the gray-haired father stopped it. His parents immediately made their way to the trunks, where they got out the two suitcases, while the young adult grabbed his backpack and slowly made his way out of the car as well, before following his parents up the pair of stairs and through the double door.

He felt a bit like a puppy, following his parents and then just awkwardly standing next to them as they held _adult conversations_ with some employees to check their son in.

After the formal aspects had all been settled, one of the doctors turned to the raven-haired and, with a warm smile, said, “It's nice to meet you, Merlin, my name is Doctor Harrow. I bet you're not really up for big introductions, so how about I show you your room?”

What he really wasn't looking forward to was adults pretending to be his friends, in order to gain his trust and respect. But he knew that saying that was not going to get him out of there, so he remained silent, as he followed his parents and the young doctor to what was going to be his room for an unlimited amount of time from now on.

As they arrived at his room, the doctor opened the door and stepped inside with the others, “Here we are then. If you ever need anything, just press the One on the phone or go to the reception,” the doctor proceeded his explanation.

“We'll have to leave you now. I'm sure you won't feel like it for now, but if you ever want to ring you got our number, so you can call anytime you like,” Merlin's father started.

The ginger-haired woman quickly added, “And of course we'll only come and visit if you give us a call and tell us to.”

Merlin simply nodded and then his parents wrapped him in a big hug. After they let go of their son, they said goodbye to him and the doctor before leaving.

“Today's schedule is as followed: Now, we'll have to go and have a small interview with you in order to create our own profile of you. When that's done, I'll take you to breakfast in the dining hall. After that, you'll have some time off to unpack until dinner at twelve. After that, I'll show you around the entire place so you know everything there is to it. I will then leave you to your free time, which lasts until supper at six and then you have some more free time until bed time at eleven. That is, of course, only today's schedule, but I'll tell you the rest later,” Doctor Harrow explained to the roughly ten years younger patient.

He only nodded in response before following the doctor to a small room. Inside, it was in bright colors, with not much more than a table, a few chairs and a cupboard. Doctor Harrow symbolized Merlin to sit down, and after he did so, the doctor said down himself.

“I've got a couple of information about you already, but I'd like to hear a bit more from you anyway,” the doctor explained after taking something to write out and putting it on the table between the two men.

Again, the raven-haired only nodded.

“You have been diagnosed with Nightmare Disorder at the age of five,” the doctor paused for a second to look up at Merlin, “When did the nightmares start exactly?”

“When I was three,” he replied, staring at the documents on the table.

The blond nodded as he scribbled the new information down, “Why did it take two years for the diagnosis?”

“My parents didn't think too much of it. Everyone has nightmares after all,” Merlin proceeded, the two looking at each other, “And they weren't that frequent, but with time they kept on coming more often.”

“And since then you've been having them every night?”

Merlin nodded silently again.

“Is there anyone else in your family circle with it?”

“No.”

“Did your parents give you any medication between the first nightmare and the diagnosis two years later?”

Merlin nodded lightly, “At first they didn't. But once the dreams were nightly, they gave me sleeping pills.”

“Do you still take them?”

“Not anymore, no. I only took them for a few months, but my doctor at that time and I decided that they wouldn't really help, cause they only helped me to fall asleep, which caused me to dream again.”

Doctor Harrow wrote everything Merlin said down, “And you haven't taken any medication since?”

“I did take sleeping pills every once in a while before I got homeschooled, to prevent me from falling asleep in school,” he explained with his eyes on the papers.

“That would be about it for your disorder history. Now,” the doctor started, looking at Merlin to give him his entire attention, “Tell me about your dreams. What are they about? Is it always the same? Has it changed over the years?”

Silence filled the room. The nineteen-year-old was used to talking about his condition, yet he still didn't like it. Dreams were something private, and despite it being more serious with him, he knew there was nothing any doctor could do something about, wherefore he wasn't fond of talking about any of it.

“It started as a dream about... dragons. Two of them. One red, one white. And they were fighting, which, as a three-year-old, is far more scary than it sounds now. The dreams of dragons fighting each other eventually turned into dreams of monsters wanting to fight me,” Merlin recalled, his eyes focused on the papers.

“So in your nightmares, you are being attacked?”

He lightly shook his head, “Not quite. They try to attack me, but I never saw the end of those threats. Cause when they get too close I wake up.”

“And do all of your dreams include monsters?”

“Most of them, yes, but there have been others.”

“Like what?”

There was another small silence ere the young adult continued, “Just... people. In combat.”

Doctor Harrow nodded as he wrote everything down again, “Any dreams in which you have actually been injured?”

“There have been some in which I had been poisoned. Captured. Injured.”

“Does every dream happen only once, or do you have some of them repeatedly?”

“I've had them all several times.”

“What kind of place do they take place in?”

Merlin thought about the question for a few seconds, a bit unsure how to describe it, “I don't know, it's... different places. Forests, caves, rooms.”

Doctor Harrow nodded and looked at Merlin, who looked up too, “That would be it for now. Today, as I told you already, you'll have a less busy day, but starting tomorrow, you'll attend three group sessions and one single session with a therapist. The exact schedule lies printed out in your room. Shall I bring you to the canteen then?”

Merlin, again, only nodded, then followed the doctor out of the room, down the hallway to the other end of the building, where the canteen was located.

“Here we are,” the doctor declared with an enthusiastic voice, “On the left you find a table with your choices to eat. Just take a plate or bowl and take whatever you want to eat and then sit wherever you like. Once you are done eating you pile up all the dishes with the others sitting at your table and then you can leave.”

“Okay, thanks,” Merlin quietly said before getting his breakfast and sitting down at an empty table to eat.

 

It was the middle of September and with that, officially still summer. The weather, however, suggested otherwise. After spending weeks in London with his friends, Arthur had arrived back home in Cardiff, where his father was just dying to get him to spend the remaining two weeks working in his mental hospital. That wasn't how the university student had wanted his free time to end, but his father had been successful in dragging him to the old building anyway. It wasn't Arthur's first time working at the mental hospital of his father, but when he was younger he had definitely enjoyed going there more often. He had been amazed by all the different people, amazed by how they were different to him. But now, as a twenty-one-year-old, Arthur wasn't particularly interested in helping out during what little free time he was given. Although he had been to the hospital several times since being a little lad, this was going to be his first time actually working there and being paid for it. Despite that, he was not looking forward to it much.

“I have two weeks left of my holiday, do you really find it necessary for me to spend it working in a field of work that is far from what I will _actually_ be working as?” Arthur asked his father as the two drove to work.

The hospital owner nodded, as he always did when Arthur tried getting out of the job, “I know. But you are now in your last year of university and I'm sure you don't plan on living at home forever, so I suggest you saving some money already will be something you'll thank me for later on.”

“It's not like I'll get paid like the people that work there for real,” he debated stubbornly.

“It's better than nothing, Arthur.”

The blond sighed in frustration, “Yes, but is it _worth_ it? I get that I will need to work sooner or later, but I'm busy. You just said it yourself, I am now in my last year, which means there is still a ton of work I have to do to graduate. Shouldn't I focus on that?”

“Yes, yes, but university has not yet started. As I told you before, you will be working full time for the remaining two weeks and then whenever you have time. It won't get in the way, so quit complaining,” Uther told him calmly.

With another sigh, Arthur rested his head on the car window and looked at the sun rising in the distance.

 

Just a few more minutes passed until the two men arrived at their destination. Not long after their arrival, they had entered and checked into the _Crimson House_. Uther had to sign a few papers and take care of some further tasks. Meanwhile, Arthur stood next to his father silently as he looked over the older man's shoulder to read along.

“Good morning Doctor Masterson. Arthur, good to see you again,” one of the older doctors greeted the two men as he approached them.

“Good to see you too, Doctor Jones,” Arthur greeted back with a nod.

“Is that the profile for our newbie?”

Doctor Jones nodded to the gray-haired man, “Yes, Doctor Harrow just did the interview with him and had now taken him to breakfast.”

“Have you read the file already?”

Doctor Jones nodded as he took a closer step to Uther for more privacy, “Yes. There really seems to be no special cause for his condition. From what I have gathered, he truly has a special case.”

“Medical history?” Uther asked, as he took the files into his hands to study it more closely after the basic overview.

“Only sleeping pills.”

“Does he still take them?”

“No, he only took them while he attended public school,” Doctor Jones informed his boss.

With a nod, Uther dismissed the doctor, who then left. Arthur knew he wasn't aloud to take a look into any patient's documents, but overhearing doctors discuss a patient always caught Arthur's curiosity. Nonetheless, he knew better than to ask his father, who he knew was not going to answer any of his questions. He was still curious, wherefore he took a quick peek at the documents as his father read them.

He wasn't able to read much before his father turned around and said, “Your first task for today is to sort out the files of the patients that have recently checked out. There's a list of all the names in the storage, you know where to find it.”

Arthur nodded with a silent sigh, “Of course,” he confirmed before going after his job.

 

The canteen was as plain as everything else he had seen so far. The colors were in pale colors, so was the furniture. The positive thing, and most likely the only positive thing he had encountered so far, was the great assortment of cereal. After choosing his breakfast and sitting down at a free table, it didn't take long until he was joined by someone.

“Hello,” the ginger greeted Merlin cheerfully.

Looking up from his cereal for a second he shortly, and with far less enthusiasm, replied, “Hello.”

“I've never seen you around. Are you new here?”

“Yes.”

Her eyes lit up with excitement, “Cool! I'm Macy and you?”

The raven-haired was quiet for a moment, chewing his meal. When she didn't take her eyes off of him, apparently she was very patient, he gave up and looked at her again, “Merlin.”

“Merlin?” She repeated, looking even more excited than before, “That is such an amazing name, I love Merlin!”

Merlin simply ignored the comment. He had no idea how long he was going to have to stay in the mental hospital, but he wasn't planning on staying long enough to make friends.

“What are you here for?” The teenager proceeded to pelt him with questions.

Merlin sighed, “None of your business.”

“Well, seeing as we all have to attend three group sessions a day, you will have to let everyone know anyway, so you might as well tell me now.”

“Does it matter?”

“I'm just curious.”

He looked at her silently for a moment, “I can see that.”

“This is your first time in a mental hospital,” Macy stated, not willing to give up on the conversation.

“What gave you that idea?” Merlin countered while rolling his eyes.

Despite his rather unfriendly attitude, Macy's smile remained, “You'll like it, don't worry. It's not as bad as it may seem, just give it a chance.”

“It's not like it's going to cure anyone to be here.”

“Of course it's not going to cure anyone here. But it makes you feel less alone.”

Merlin sent her an unimpressed look, “Because there are people like you harassing me?”

“You have a sense of humor!” She exclaimed in exaggeration, to which Merlin reacted with another annoyed sigh.

It was a complete new experience for him to be cold-hearted towards people, especially strangers. But besides not looking forward to spending time at a place where he was going to talk to everyone about his dreams in order to help him cope with them, he was also not quite fond of having to had to get up at five in the morning.

“You look tired, did you have a long drive?”

“I always look tired.”

Macy nodded in agreement, “Indeed some people do look like that all the time! I, on the other hand, belong to the kind of people that never look tired.”

“Congratulations.”

 

Not long after that, Merlin had finished his breakfast and made his leave. Fortunately enough, Merlin had a sharp enough mind and a good sense of direction to quickly remember and find his room. Once inside, Merlin closed the door behind him before walking over to the small bed where his luggage was waiting to be unpacked. As someone who had moved a lot in his life, unpacking was a task he finished in a few minutes. When he was done and still had some hours to spare, he lay down on the bed and took his iPod from the bed table and started listening to some music.

The hours passed and Merlin made his way back into the canteen to eat. Just like in the morning, the ginger-haired teenager accompanied him again, still not managing to have a successful conversation with the new patient. After finishing the warm meal, he quickly left the canteen to be on his own, but as soon as he stepped out of the canteen, Doctor Harrow approached him to show him around.

Although it was his first time being in a mental hospital, Merlin wasn't particularly interested in seeing any of it. For him, it wasn't different to any other public building. There were a number of impersonal rooms, filled with strangers pretending to be close to another. It wasn't his world, but now he didn't have a choice. Despite his disinterest in the tour, he was glad he got shown around anyway, due to at least knowing where to go everyday. When the tour was over, Merlin closed the door of his room behind him and let out a sigh.

 

Arthur knew the rules, probably because his father had made them specifically for him. One of the rules was not to go to the patients' rooms, he was only allowed to talk to them, if he randomly encountered one. As curious as a child was, however, it was hard to obey said rule, wherefore Arthur had often pretended to be a spy or secret agent, who was not allowed to be seen by anyone but the patients. Seeing as curiosity was a trait intensified in children, Arthur had expected not to be bothered with that this time around, due to him not wanting to come along at all. But he was wrong. Although he hadn't been able to read a lot from the file of the new patient, nor could he make much sense of what his father and Doctor Harrow discussed about him, it was enough to catch his attention and, more importantly, waken his curiosity. Especially the fact that he wasn't able to acquire information was what got him in the end. Of course the files about patients were confidential, the grown-ups had been overly mysterious with the new patient. But Arthur was not going to let that pass so easily. Instead, he was determined to find out the reason behind the secretiveness and he wasn't going to wait for someone to tell him either. His year-long experience of sneaking to the patients and talking to them without any doctors noticing, gave him the confidence in being able to work this out on his own, and it helped him figure out which room the new patient got as well. When everyone seemed busy with their work, and the hallways were empty too, Arthur knew it was the perfect opportunity to search for the room. And, having been in the facility multiple times, it didn't take long for him to find it.

 

Just like before dinner, Merlin lay on his bed and listened to music while staring at the plain white ceiling. He was lost in thought, therefore heard neither the knock on the door, nor did he notice someone walking inside and approaching him. When the uninvited guest slowly came into view, Merlin finally noticed him and quickly sat up in bed in surprise.

“You don't look like a doctor,” Merlin stated, not hiding the fact that he didn't want any strangers in his room.

Arthur looked at the other for a while silently, trying to figure him out. Before now he had not once lost a thought about what the patient would look like. He had been too focused on who the patient was as to actually try to picture him. By the degree of secretiveness everyone had made about him, Arthur hadn't ever considered the new patient to actually be around his own age. While Arthur was lost in thought, Merlin's brain was sharp and so he took out his earphones and raised his brows at the stranger, still waiting for an explanation.

“Right,” Arthur confirmed a bit lost as he was ripped out of his thoughts, “I'm not.”

“I don't want any visitors, so unless you're a doctor you have no right to be here.”

Arthur was about to comment on that, but as his brain started working properly again he noticed the strange look the patient gave him. He wasn't sure why he looked at him like that, but Arthur was convinced that it wasn't because he didn't want him there. The patient looked a bit thunderstruck and horrified. Little did he know the reason behind that reaction.

The blond cleared his throat before starting his explanation, “I just came by because you are new here and-”

“You came by. Now go,” Merlin cut him off.

“I just wanted to introduce myself,” Arthur claimed.

Merlin raised his brows in disbelief, “You sure are full of yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don't know who you are, but to think that you are important enough to invade my privacy just to let me know about your existence is not just damn rude, but also smug.”

“It's called being friendly,” Arthur defended himself sharply.

Merlin glared at him angrily, but his expression soon softened by a bit, “If that makes you feel better.”

“It was my intention to be friendly,” Arthur countered with a calm voice, “My apologies, if it came over in a wrong way.”

“Are you saying this so I don't dislike you?”

“Well, who wants to be disliked?”

Merlin sent him an unimpressed look.

“I'm Arthur Masterson, I'm the son of the owner,” the blond introduced himself properly.

“That explains it.”

“Explains- what?” Arthur wasn't able to quite follow.

“You truly aren't friendly, you're just a spoiled prat that has nothing better to do than harass strangers, who, in a way, finance everything you own,” Merlin stated with fake friendliness.

The blond wasn't fond of the accusation, nor of the attitude of the new patient, “You really shouldn't talk like that to someone whose father is doing everything possible to help you.”

A bitter chuckle escaped the patient's mouth, “And now you even pretend like you know me. Very impressive. Sorry to break it to you, but there are no cures and the help I'm going to get here consists of talking about my problems to get advices that won't help and maybe even medicine, which also won't help. Yes, I am very grateful and should sincerely apologize to you.”

Arthur was mad. Simultaneously he knew the other was sort of right. Arthur didn't know anything about the patient. And in a way it was a bit of a spoiled prat move to just sneak into his room. But he was not going to admit that, “Not with that attitude.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes while getting up to face the blond, clearly offended by his words, “ _Not with that attitude_? You do realize that said phrase implies that a certain problem could be solved by adapting a different way of thinking, which is quite the offensive thing to say for someone who is in a _mental_ hospital. As in, they are in there because something in their mind is wrong. But they can't just change that, you know?”

Arthur closed his eyes for a second, realizing his mistake, “What I meant, was-”

“You meant to say that, if I was more open to getting help, it might just make things better, but that is where you are very wrong. I simply came to realize that whatever it is that is wrong with me it will not change and people have no idea what to do about it, no matter who, no matter where.”

“That's your business, I realize.”

Merlin let out a heavy sigh to calm himself down, “It's alright. Just stay out of it.”

A small smile formed on Arthur's lips, who was relieved that the other relaxed a little, “Again, I'm sorry. How about a fresh start?”

“I won't just forget what you did and said.”

“I don't expect you to. Just... give me a second chance?”

Merlin stared at the blond for a while, not sure what to do. He certainly was not fond of the guy, but there was something that prevented him from kicking him out.

“I'm Arthur, nice to meet you,” Arthur introduced himself again when Merlin didn't say anything, and now held his hand out for the other to shake.

The raven-haired hesitated a moment before shaking Arthur's hand, “I'm Merlin.”

Letting go of his hand, Arthur raised his brow in pleasant surprise, “Merlin?”

Merlin rolled his eyes playfully, “Shut up.”

“I've never met anyone with that name.”

“Wow, I'm your first,” Merlin exclaimed with false excitement, “I feel so special now.”

Arthur couldn't hold back a laugh, “I was just saving myself for the right one.”

“Of course,” Merlin agreed with a dumb grin, “So tell me. What kind of professional environment lets the children of employees run around unsupervised?”

Arthur chuckled, “My father finds it necessary for me to make my own money, which is why he has me spent the rest of my summer break working here and once I go back to university, I'll get to work a bit less.”

“How generous of him,” Merlin replied with sarcasm.

“I know, right?” Arthur agreed in the same tone, before continuing with more seriousness again, “At least this way I get to see him a bit more often.”

Merlin sat down on his bed again, “Sounds exciting.”

“This is not my field of work so it's not the most pleasant way to spend my days, but this way I get to save some money.”

“Spoken like a true optimist,” Merlin teased him.

“I'm serious!” Arthur defended himself.

Merlin looked at the blond silently for a moment, thinking about what to do next, “How honest would you be to a stranger?”

Arthur looked at him with suspicion, “What are you talking about?”

“As in, would you be honest with me, no matter what I asked you?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“If I want to answer or not.”

Merlin stared at him for another second before finally asking, “How much freedom do I get here exactly? And don't sugarcoat it!”

The blond looked at Merlin in silence, surprised by the question. Not that he had thought about what it was going to be, but he hadn't expected this, “Well. Seeing as you don't get to leave the property, you have to stick to a schedule and certain rules and have to discuss your matter in a group, I'd say it's not a lot.”

To Arthur's surprise, Merlin seemed awfully glad about the reply.

“Why are you happy about that?”

“Cause you were honest.”

“You make it sound like I'm never honest.”

Merlin laughed, “Well I wouldn't know, but it's always good to know the people around you.”

“That sounds like you want me around,” Arthur noted with raised brows.

“You just don't seem like the kind of guy that can keep his nose out of other people's business.”

“And you don't seem to mind.”

Merlin sent him a disbelieving look, “What gave you that idea?”

“I'm still here.”

“You really are self-opinionated.”

“I don't see the problem.”

The raven-haired lightly shook his head but couldn't hide the grin forming on his face, “You're weird.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

“Right. Wouldn't want to hurt your ego,” he confirmed.

It was a bit strange how there conversation had turned, yet the two didn't mind. And although neither of them would admit it, they wanted the conversation to go on long. That wish was, however, crushed by reality.

“I should probably go now. My father would get furious to find out I sneaked into a patient's room without permission.”

“Which would be terrible, because he then might take care of you never visiting me again, and how could I live with that?” Merlin nodded.

“You are a very strange person.”

Merlin smiled, “Thanks.”

“You won't get rid of me so easily,” Arthur warned with a smile on his face, before walking out the room and returning back to his work as if nothing had happened.

Once the door was closed and he was alone in the room again, Merlin let himself fall on his back, the bed was luckily comfortable enough for doing so. He let out a heavy breath and stared at the ceiling again. The encounter that had only just ended was racing through his thoughts. Out of all the things he had envisioned to happen, meeting Arthur was not one of them. _Arthur._ The name kept echoing inside his brain like it meant something to him, even though he had never met someone with that name. But it almost felt natural thinking that name. He tried getting different thoughts, but soon gave up. Lifting his body back to a sitting position, the young adult turned to his bed table and opened one of the drawers. Just a second later, Merlin held a pen and an old notebook, which he used as a dream diary, as one of his doctors had ordered him to do years ago, in his hands and opened it on first free page. After writing down the current date at the top of the page, he wrote down:

 _This is day one in the mental hospital. It's practically the way I expected – filled with people and plain colors. Aside from that, I just had the strangest encounter. The son of the owner of this place, Arthur, is, without a doubt, the guy that keeps appearing in my dreams. That, of course, isn't theoretically possible, seeing as you can always dream of people you have met before, but I never met this guy before today. Maybe I'm just imagining it because he most definitely is the guy from my dreams, but it felt so naturally talking to him. Even saying or thinking his name feels like it's nothing new to me. But it is. So why do I feel like I have known him before and how the hell is it possible for him to have been such a huge part of my nightmares for years, even when I was younger and he most certainly did not look the same as he does now when he was a kid. That would just be even stranger. But I'm quite sure it's not_ that _strange. I guess I now got an actual goal for my stay, something I gave up on long ago because it always seemed hopeless: Figuring out what those damn dreams mean._

When he was done writing, he closed the book and put it back where he had taken it from. He wasn't sure what was going on, or even if he wanted to actually figure out the meaning behind his nightmares, but for the first time in a while he actually cared.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

 

Fortunately for him, neither his father nor anyone else noticed him sneaking into Merlin's room. He returned back to his work and soon after, his father came by to tell him that they would drive back home now.

Fully exhausted from the long day, Arthur let himself fall on his bed. Maybe it was because it was the only interesting part of the day, but he couldn't get the conversation with Merlin out of his mind. It wasn't because he was a mysterious patient Arthur didn't know the condition of, but rather the fact that he was a very strange character, as well as the random feeling of familiarity he had felt around him, which was only adding to the imprint the raven-haired had left on Arthur. But they had never met. Arthur would have remembered someone called Merlin without a doubt. But he didn't. He was convinced that he had never seen this guy let alone met him. The question remained why, despite not possibly being able to know him, it felt like he had known him before. Feeling as if he was going crazy, he got himself ready for bed and quickly fell asleep.

Morning came by quicker than Arthur liked, wherefore he had to force himself to get out of bed. After a quick shower to get a bit more awake, he went downstairs into the kitchen and got himself his typical breakfast. He then joined his father in the dining room to eat with him and his younger sister, Morgana.

“What are you doing up so early in the morning? Don't you need your beauty sleep?”

With a death glare the raven-haired girl replied, “Very funny Arthur. But no, I do not. Didn't I tell you that one of my friends is moving out and I offered to help renovate the place?Cause that's what I'm doing. Seeing as it takes some time for that, we decided to start early.”

“When will you move out?”

“Not soon, sorry to disappoint you. Anyway, I've got to go now, you two enjoy your day,” she replied before getting up and leaving.

With her gone, Arthur turned to his father and decided to ask about what had been on his mind since the previous day, “Dad?”

“Yes?”

“I've been wondering, since I'm going to work with you for a while now and want to do it the best I can, I figured I should be updated on information. You know I will not tell anyone outside the hospital about any confidential information, since I am a professional.”

Uther looked at his son with a knowing expression on his face, “And who is so interesting to you that you can't keep your curiosity down enough?”

“No one's interesting to me!” Arthur quickly defended himself, “Well, actually, he is, but...”

“The new patient,” Uther stated.

The blond looked at the older man with surprise, “How do you know?”

“Yesterday was your first and only day so far and you had no contact with any of the patients, the only one you heard about was the patient that got in yesterday, who I was informed about when we arrived.”

“Oh,” Arthur sighed with slight disappointment of not being able to cover up well-enough.

“What is it that you want to know so badly?”

A small silence fell ere he answered, “Just... you seemed especially secretive about him. There must be something special about him.”

“And what do you specifically want to hear from me now?”

“Well,” Arthur hadn't actually thought about a specific question, due to believing that his father would not be willing to talk, “His condition. That's the only reason he could be any different to others. So why is he there?”

With a soft smile his father nodded, “That could indeed be the reason.”

“Dad!” Arthur exclaimed, annoyed that his father didn't talk after all.

“It's not your job to know.”

“Yes but working there I will see the patients and get in some sort of contact with them, even if it's not as close as you do.”

Uther tilted his head slightly, “And what is it that you fear, my boy?”

“Well what if he's a psychopath? He could murder me! So shouldn't I know something like that? Like from what patient I need to keep my distance?”

“You're old enough to figure those things out on your own.”

“Will you say that after he killed me?”

“We're not a prison, Arthur, those people are not criminals. There is nothing for you to worry about and I can promise you that you do not need to worry about the new patient. As you have noticed yourself he is a special case and that's all there is to say.”

With a disappointed sigh, Arthur let himself fall back into his chair and eat his breakfast silently. He hadn't expected much more from his father, but there had still been a bit hope anyway. The fact that the conversation didn't go the way he had wished simply meant that he would have to figure it out on his own. And he was determined not to give up until finding out why Merlin was such a special someone. From what he had gathered in yesterday's conversation with the mysterious boy, he didn't seem too out of the world to actually be a big secret Arthur couldn't be let in on.

 

 _5:23_. That's what the clock read when he woke up from the nightmare. Although it was always a different one, having a nightmare every single night made it part of his every day life and so it was easier for him to deal with it. The familiarity of the situation was only now appreciated, due to him having to feel lost otherwise. But he knew what to do. He breathed calmly, turned on the little lamp next to him and got out his dream diary.

_The first night in the hospital for the mentally insane and of course I had to have a nightmare. This guy I mentioned yesterday, Arthur, was in it too, which makes it really weird. Just not as weird as the actual dream itself though. For some reason he and I were fighting and as always it looked very medieval. And we had maces with which we fought another. Although, admittedly, I appear to not be good with a mace. He, on the other hand, was amazing with it. A real fighter. I always managed to escape his attacks, or rather most of them, and actually managed to hit him sometime too. But overall it was just a pointless fight across what seemed like a market. I still can't explain what it means, especially how I could dream of someone I don't even know. This sound rather stupid and I wish it wasn't like it, but I do want to understand them, so I guess I got no choice but to hope that this Arthur guy comes back so I can learn a bit more about him and maybe one day I'll manage to put all the puzzle pieces together._

After he put the diary away again, Merlin got his sketchbook out and, as he did after every dream, drew a picture that roughly summed up what his dream was about.

He had started said routine due to one of his earliest doctors recommending that it would be an effective way of dealing with nightmares. Over time it turned into a habit, but not one that he minded at all. Although he was positive that he was not going to find a solution for the dreams, he still wanted to at least understand them. The places and people in them had a connection and Merlin always wondered why that was. On that account, a diary was what simply gave him a nice overview on his dreams. Due to him writing and drawing his dreams every single morning, he had obtained quite the skills in both activities, thus making him faster at finishing his works.

The next two hours, Merlin spend by getting ready for the day as well as reading a book to pass the remaining time until he went to breakfast at eight.

It was time for his very first morning group. Although he had already been shown around the entire building, he was not yet used enough to it as to remember where he had to go all the Therefore, he was secretly glad that Macy had to go to the same meeting and thus walked there with him. The meet up took place in a small, classroom like room, which had nothing much besides a circle of chairs in it. There were about a dozen chairs, which slowly started being filled. Looking around, Merlin saw all kinds of people with different ages but also different looks in matter of style and general appearance. Without meeting anyone's eyes, he sat down on a random chair next to Macy in order to not feel quite as lost as he did. Once he sat, he looked around again, trying to picture what their stories were and whether or not they actually wanted to discuss it with a group of strangers.

“You're worried, aren't you?” Macy observed, leaning to the older boy.

Merlin turned his head to her and lightly shook his head, “I'm not.”

“Then why do you look so nervous?”

“I'm not nervous!” He protested.

With a small smile she continued, “Trust me, no one wants to be here and talk about what's inside our head. It's not like they can help, and although everyone always praises the idea of talking to others in order to feel a bit better, it doesn't really work too well. But here we're all equals. Not because we all got something in our head that shouldn't be that way, but because we don't want to be here and talk about us. We'd much rather keep all our flaws to ourselves and work on them in the dark and come out like a new, fresh person without any more problems. That's just not how things go. There is not much here that is actually going to help you, but knowing that there are others who feel like you do is at least a backup.”

Merlin speechlessly stared at the younger girl for a little while, quite impressed by her speech, “You're quite smart for someone your age.”

“I'm not that young.”

“Well,” he argued before going back to the actual topic with a sigh, “Just 'cause there are others who, very roughly, have something in common with me, doesn't make it any better. I just don't see a point in being forced to share your life story with strangers who don't care anyway because they, too, are forced to be here.”

“A very good point. But that's where you are so wrong. See, we can't leave this property, ever. So there isn't exactly much interesting happening, since we're all following the exact same schedule every single day. So whenever there is a new patient around, gossip starts and everyone is curious to why they are here and what they're like and all that,” Macy corrected.

“Great,” Merlin replied as he rolled his eyes sarcastically, “Basically your argument to convince me not to leave right now is that I'm today's entertainment.”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“Great,” he commented with another roll of his eyes.

Soon after that, the group leader entered the room. It was a doctor in his late twenties, who had probably just recently graduated from college and was now playing the best friend in order to get people to talk. Merlin was already disliking him. For someone working in a mental hospital to get people to spit out their personal secrets, the young doctor looked a bit too happy.

“Good morning guys,” he cheerfully greeted everyone once all the seats were filled and the door closed, “I'm Tyler, the leader of this group.”

When everyone greeted him back by chorusing, “Hi Tyler,” Merlin was getting close to jumping out of the window and run to the other side of the planet. _They couldn't be serious._ Maybe they were only doing this as a joke, yet none of them seemed to laugh. Before he got a chance to be too creeped out by the entire situation, Tyler, followed by everyone else, turned to Merlin.

“This is our newest patient. How about you tell us who you are?”

With every passing second, Merlin wanted to get out more, but he knew that that wasn't an option, “I'm Merlin.”

Bored faces now turned into happy and interested faces.

“What a fantastic name!” Tyler cheered with a grin on his face, before adding in a playfully serious tone, “You don't happen to have any magical powers, do you?”

With the most serious face Merlin replied, “If that were so, I wouldn't be here right now.”

“A sense of humor, fantastic!” Tyler cheered with a laugh, “How about you tell us why you are here?”

“In order to keep the business running and you getting paid,” he replied making everyone except him laugh.

Tyler was amazed by Merlin's words, “You see, guys? _That_ is the kind of spirit you should bring with you all the time. Make some jokes, make people laugh, make everyone have a good time here.”

Merlin now began to regret having made his sarcastic statements rather than simply replying and not be recognized that much.

When the room got a bit quieter again, giving Tyler the chance to be heard, he continued, “Now please let us in on the medical reason that brought you here.”

“I've been having nightmare disorder ever since I was little,” Merlin shortly answered.

The others looked at him with interest, wanting to hear more, “And what is that like?”

“If it was anything positive I wouldn't have a reason to be here.”

“How are you personally feeling about that?”

“It's not something that limits me. I've actually gotten quite used to it, so there aren't really any feelings there.”

“Sounds good,” Tyler smiled with motivation shining in his eyes.

 

The group went on for twenty minutes before everyone was released to go on with their schedule. It was now time for Merlin to meet up with a psychiatrist with whom he was to discuss his dreams and who would help him _get better_. Of course Merlin didn't believe that was going to happen, but there was no helping it other than go there. All he was hoping now was that his psychiatrist was not going to be a motivation bomb like Tyler.

Merlin quickly found the room he was supposed to go and knocked on the door before stepping inside. Unlike the other rooms, this room had some kind of character, a personal touch, which made Merlin immediately feel a bit better. A man in his mid-thirties got up from one of the armchairs and walked over to Merlin with a friendly but honest smile.

“Hi, I'm Ethan Reed, your psychiatrist, you must be Merlin,” he greeted the other happily while holding out his hand.

Shaking the other's hand he lightly smiled back, “I am.”

“Why don't we have a seat?” Doctor Reed proceeded and the two walked over to the window where two armchairs were placed facing another with a small coffee table between them.

After sitting down, Doctor Reed got out his documents on Merlin as well as a pen to take notes. When he looked back up at Merlin, giving him his full attention, he asked, “Have you already settled down?”

“Not really,” Merlin answered honestly, “It's different.”

“Indeed it is,” the doctor nodded.

“But this is a nice room,” Merlin added, looking around at the photos on the walls, the plants, bookshelves and other personal items that were scattered across the room.

Doctor Reed smiled, “I'm glad you like it. It's a bit of a mess though.”

“Just shows that someone actually does something here.”

“That's right. It might take a couple of days to get used to everything, but you will eventually.”

Merlin nodded before sarcastically agreeing, “If you plan on releasing me after having helped me than I have no other choice but to get used to it.”

Doctor Reed's laugh filled the room, “Of course this is not going to be your salvation. You are simply here to be able to deal better with your condition.”

“So I was told. However, there is no need for it. See, I've been waking up from nightmares every single night in fourteen years, I've gotten used to it long ago. And unless you plan on making me able to control dreams, there isn't much you can do.”

“Exactly,” the doctor agreed, “Now I might not be able to control dreams, but what I can try to do is have you understand your dreams. Because when you understand them, they are less likely to wake you up. You have to see waking up as a defense mechanism: When you don't understand something that scares you, your body wants to keep you safe from it and flee because there are some situations that when they are new, you don't know how to deal with them. And then fleeing can be the best and only option. So if you were to understand those dreams, they would seem less scary to you and might not disrupt your sleep.”

“And that works how?”

“I will make you able to control your dreams.”

Merlin raised his brows in disbelief, “What?”

Doctor Reed nodded confidently, “The key to understanding a dream is to fully dream it. There is always something in your dream that triggers you to wake up, which is why it's called a nightmare. It's so terrible that you can't take it anymore and your only option is fleeing back into reality, as I mentioned before. But the most terrible things tend to happen in the middle of a story, not the end. Waking up is a reflex that you can hardly turn off. Therefore you need to train to fall asleep again and return back to the dream you were having.”

Merlin listened with great interest. He hadn't thought that talking to a psychiatrist was going to be something he would enjoy, but Doctor Reed was really nice and his idea had caught Merlin's interest. The fact that Doctor Reed admitted that there was no cure was already enough to make him alright, and when he explained that he was going to make Merlin go back to his dreams again, he won him over almost completely.

 

Unfortunately, the session with Doctor Reed was only half an hour long and once a day, unlike the three daily group sessions with a total of two hours. The second group sessions, which was one hour long, fortunately wasn't sitting in a circle and talking about oneself, but something called coping skills. There, the patients were basically playing kindergarten children that were given utensils to be creative. Macy was there too, wherefore Merlin didn't need to do any of the creative options he was given, due to being interrogated by the girl.

“How do you like your psychiatrist? Who is he?” She asked excitedly.

“Doctor Reed,” Merlin replied shortly, “He's alright.”

Macy smiled with a nod, “Doctor Reed is really great! So, what are you dreams about?”

“That's still none of your business.”

“You're so boring,” she complained.

Merlin only shrugged, “So be it.”

With a sigh she continued, “Will you tell me one day?”

“What is supposed to change my mind?”

“I don't know, I'm just hoping.”

A small smile crossed his face, “Good. Hope is a good thing to have.”

 

The hour of Macy trying to get him to talk, was eventually over and everyone went into their own room to have a half hour break before dinner at twelve. Back in his room, Merlin got out his dream diary to write down about Doctor Reed's plan of having him become able to return back to his dreams. He then put it back and took out a book he was currently reading.

The free time passed quickly, and so did dinner. With a big relief Merlin returned to his room afterwards, finally having more free time. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to do, since he didn't want to spend six hours reading the only book he had brought, but for now that was what he was doing.

 

The second day didn't start out better than the first. The tasks Arthur was assigned to do obviously were for unexperienced people, which made him wonder whether his father only dragged him there to do what no one else with a right mind and a college degree was willing to do. But he knew better than complain about it. If there was one thing Arthur knew for sure, it was that telling his father that he had figured out his plan was only going to get him more boring tasks. So instead of mentioning his feelings towards the rather involuntary work, he went to it straight away. In the morning his father made him do desk work. He had to answer calls, take notes, welcome visitors and direct them to the rooms. After dinner he had to continue his work in the document storage, which took longer than he had hoped.

Instead of quickly finishing his task, Arthur sneaked back to Merlin's room. Since it was free time for the patients until supper at six, it was the perfect opportunity for Arthur to go to him now, seeing as they would not be bothered. The doctors' shifts were either ending or just beginning and there wasn't a lot to do, wherefore the halls where rather empty. Without being seen by anyone, Arthur quietly knocked on the door and waited until he could hear Merlin say, “Come in,” before he opened the door and stepped inside, a big grin on his face.

“You again,” Merlin said, sounding more disgusted than he was.

Arthur stepped inside and closed the door behind him, “It's nice to see you, too.”

“What do you want?”

“Just came by to check if you were alright? Is there anything you need?”

Merlin raised a brow, “Your still not a doctor.”

“And I'll never be, but that's beside the point.”

“Right. Point is, you're still not a doctor, but you're still a prat thinking you have every right to harass me,” Merlin countered.

Arthur shook his head, “I think that is a matter of perception.”

“Are you serious?”

He nodded, “Damn serious.”

“Just get out.”

“What if I told you I got you a present?” Arthur tried with a optimistic smile on his face.

“It's not my birthday.”

The blond sighed, “Then it's a good thing I didn't bring you anything. But, should you require something, go ahead and ask.”

Merlin raised a brow, “What is your plan exactly?”

“I'm not sure yet. If I did, I would have already succeeded.”

“You're hopeless, aren't you?”

“Quite possible,” Arthur nodded.

Merlin didn't reply anything to that. That wasn't needed, though, seeing as Arthur finally noticed the book in Merlin's hands, “Fantastic book!”

Looking back up at the other, Merlin nodded in agreement with a happy smile on his face, “Yeah, I really like reading thrillers.”

“Me too,” Arthur agreed with a quick nod.

The other let his shoulders sink a little as he sent Arthur an unimpressed look, “It's a fairy tale collection, not a thriller,” he remarked plainly.

“Okay, you got me,” Arthur threw his hands up in confession.

“You're weird.”

“So are you.”

Merlin nodded, “That's why I'm here.”

“But not why _I_ am here.”

“Then maybe you should go.”

Arthur chuckled, impressed by Merlin's comebacks, “You're good. But what I was getting at was that you seem to be almost done with the book.”

The raven-haired nodded, “I am. So?”

“I doubt you brought an entire bookshelf of books with you?”

“So?”

“Since you can't leave the property and there aren't too many exciting activities you could do around here, I wanted to offer you to get you stuff in case you need any.”

Merlin playfully stared at him in disbelief, “You don't look like a drug dealer to me.”

“What? No!” Arthur exclaimed in frustration, “That's not what I meant. I meant that, if you want any books or whatever it you want, I can get that for you.”

“Because...?”

“I'm nice.”

“Over-friendly might be a bit more fitting, but loads of people are nice. Why would you do something like that for a random stranger? You must have some sort of evil plan,” Merlin guessed, getting up to be on a level with Arthur. Although he wasn't sure of the other's motivations, nor did he understand why it made him feel happy to get such an offer. All he knew was that it made his heart beat a bit faster with excitement. To have a stranger go through trouble just like that was quite an overwhelming feeling.

Arthur just laughed it off, “I don't. And frankly, I have no idea why either. But I would hate being stuck in here not being able to leave and I would then much appreciate if someone offered to do that kinda thing for me.”

Noticing the honesty in his words, Merlin smiled lightly, “Thanks. But I'm quite sure I didn't just imagine it when I was shown the library yesterday.”

“There is one,” Arthur agreed, “But it doesn't have a big collection, let alone a good one.”

“Have you ever even been inside the library?”

“Actually, I have,” the blond countered, “I practically grew up here.”

“That's not hard to believe,” Merlin joked with a serious expression.

Laughing about the joke, Arthur continued, “No, my dad often took me and my sister here and we played hide and seek. And I can tell you one thing: No one suspects you to be in a bookshelf.”

Merlin laughed, “I'd like to see you try that again now.”

“Don't underestimate my determination.”

“Can't wait,” he grinned. Trying to imagine Arthur giving his best at fitting into a bookshelf was more than entertaining.

Arthur smiled with satisfaction, “It's a date.”

Merlin looked at him, a bit perplexed by the unexpected statement, “I doubt your father would be delighted to see you do that.”

“It would be quite hilarious, actually, to see him find me squeeze inside a bookshelf.”

On a serious note Merlin concluded, “I would be disappointed to leave before seeing that myself.”

“I won't let you down,” he promised, “Anyway. There is a pile of documents waiting for me to sort them, so I better be going now. See ya.”

Merlin nodded with a light smile, but didn't say anything until Arthur was already opening the door, “I really do like thrillers though. And tea.”

When Arthur turned around with a confused expression he asked, “What?”

“You offered to bring me stuff. And since you're probably gonna be back tomorrow, you might as well bring me something in return.”

“In return of what exactly?”

With an over-dramatic expression he explained, “My precious time.”

“You can count on me,” Arthur laughed before leaving.

Merlin stared at the door for a few seconds, a happy grin on his face. He didn't know why, but there something nice about Arthur, something that made him feel better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

 

Arthur was clueless as to why he had offered Merlin to get him books and whatever else it was he desired. He barely ever shared his food with anyone, let alone buy something for others, not even his closest friends or family. The fact that he now did exactly that for a stranger he had only met the day before was a complete mystery to him. But there was something about Merlin that made him feel closer than anyone else that had ever been in Arthur's life, which made him feel both, scared and at ease. The feeling of familiarity was, despite oddly having been there from the first moment he saw Merlin, nice and most certainly improved his day.

Although he was still not happy about having to do the work no one else was willing to do, he was now at least motivated enough to get up early and spend his entire day in a mental hospital almost all by himself.

 

The next morning, Arthur woke up rather early, which was a new experience for him. His father wasn't up yet and he still had plenty of time to get ready for the day. He stayed in bed for a few minutes trying to fall back asleep, but when it didn't work he got up instead. With hope that his sister wasn't up yet, Arthur left his room to be the first to take a shower. Sharing a bathroom with his sister had been especially difficult during school times, but even now they tended to get in each other's way. Fortunately for the blond, Morgana was not yet in the bathroom, wherefore he quickly got under the shower.

When he was done showering and got dressed, he left the bathroom, only to run into her.

“Arthur,” Morgana noted in surprise, “ _You_ are already up?”

He sent her a welcoming smile, “Indeed I am.”

There was now suspicion on her face as she asked, “Why?”

“I woke up early, it happens.”

“Yes, but not to you.”

“Come on, Morgana, don't be so surprised.”

She kept her confused stare, not sure what his happy mood meant, “Yes, but you've been complaining about father dragging you to work ever since he first declared that six weeks ago and now you are suddenly up early looking more happy than when you left for London with you friends, even though you have to go do the, what did you call it?, oh right, the lowlife work.”

With a nod Arthur confirmed her statement, “Who said I was happy about _that_?”

“Since you're spending your entire day there, what else should have happened to you?”

“Maybe I am just happy. Is that a crime now?”

“You're having a secret,” Morgana detected knowingly, “And I will figure it out sooner or later.”

Arthur simply shrugged, “Probably later, you really need a shower,” teasingly holding his nose he stepped back to flee from Morgana's fists, ready to hit him.

“But I _will_ find it out,” Morgana finally stated with determination before disappearing into the bathroom.

Half an hour later the three family members assembled in the dining room to have breakfast together.

“Are you helping your friend renovating again?” Arthur asked during bites.

“Have you ever renovated more than just a single wall? It takes some time. And when we're done we still need to put all the furniture inside.”

“Must be terrible for you to constantly get up so early,” Arthur teased.

With a bitter smile she nodded, “Same for you, brother dear.”

“At least I get paid for it.”

“At least I can help others without expecting something in return,” she countered.

“So can I,” Arthur protested, “But there's nothing against a bit of payment.”

Morgana grinned, “You just tell yourself that there is something positive to your job.”

With a sigh Uther interrupted the argument, “Why don't you two ever have a conversation without being rude to another? Have I not taught you any better in all these years, because I believe I have.”

“Don't deny that you will miss this once we've both moved out,” Morgana protested with a smirk.

With a sarcastic tone the older man replied, “What a good thing then that it will still be a long time until that is going to happen.”

 

After morning group, Merlin had to go see Doctor Reed again.

“Merlin, how are you today?” He asked when the patient sat down in the comfortable office.

“Like everyday,” Merlin answered, “But less free than usual.”

Doctor Reed nodded, “I can only imagine it being terrible to have to do all these sessions every day.”

Merlin knitted his brows in slight confusion, “But you have sessions everyday, too, so it's not that different, is it?”

“Yes, just that I don't need to talk about my thoughts despite not wanting to talk about them.”

“No, you get to make other people talk about their thought despite not wanting to talk about them,” Merlin agreed, glad that the doctor was so honest. Merlin could tell that Doctor Reed was actually honest with him, due to having had plenty of doctors in his life already, faking their friendliness and smile and especially their honesty concerning their methods as well as his status.

After a small giggle the doctor continued, “And I get paid for it as well. Now, I'd like to talk a bit about your history. I've read the small interview you've had on your first day with Doctor Harrow, what I would like to know is a bit about your nightmares. You've started having nightmares at the age of three, and they became persistent at the age of five. You are much older now, more mature, more experienced. A nightmare is something scary, something that makes you feel uncomfortable. As a child, however, the things we find scary tend to be rather different to what we find scary now. How has the content of your dreams progressed over the years?”

There was a small moment of silence filling the room. Although he knew there was no way around it, talking about his dreams wasn't something he felt comfortable with even after all those years. “Basically, they haven't changed that much. It's more that the elements that are scary and eventually lead to the waking up part have changed.”

“I've read in your documents that your dreams are taking place in a rather mythical world. In order to understand the dreams, you need to understand the world they take place in. What can you tell me about it?” Doctor Reed asked, while taking notes.

Merlin thought about the question for a little while before starting to explain, “It's pretty much the way you would imagine England during the middle ages. A big castle surrounded by a town with all kinds of people. Knights, smiths, kings.”

“And what makes it so mythical?”

“There is magic and mythical creatures, like dragons and unicorns and trolls.”

“And, in your dreams, you live in that world too?”

Merlin nodded lightly, “Yes.”

“And who are you? A knight? The king?”

With a small smile he shook his head ere continuing, “No, I- I'm like some sort of servant I think.”

“A servant?” Doctor Reed repeated, a bit surprised.

Merlin nodded, “Yes.”

“Of who exactly?”

“The prince. Or king, depends on the dream.”

Doctor Reed wrote the information down with great interest, “So your dreams have quite the timeline.”

“About ten years,” Merlin confirmed.

“Wow, that is incredible. To not just imagine an entire world but also years worth of dreams. That is truly amazing. So what is that like, living in a world full of magic?”

“There is no magic,” Merlin stated, much to the other's confusion, which made him quickly add, “Well, there is, technically seen, but it's sort of forbidden.”

The doctor looked at Merlin with great interest, “Do you happen to know why that is so?”

“No, not really. But I think it has something to do with the king. I think he had some bad experience with it,” he tried to recall.

“The king you serve?”

“No, his father.”

“So magic is forbidden but exists. What does the castle town look like then?”

“It's an average town. Quite busy, with houses for the town people to live in but also enough space for a market,” Merlin described vaguely.

“Since you know about the existence of magic, where does that take place? Is there some sort of hideout for those with magic?”

Merlin nodded slightly, “It varies. Most people with magic hide it and pretend to be ordinary people and so they live in the towns or villages like everyone else but there are also camps where groups of people with magic live, since it's outlawed.”

“The kingdom. Have you seen it in real life before? Maybe on television?”

“Like I said, it's a normal town. Maybe I saw a picture of that castle before, but I doubt that a picture would have such an influence.”

“Since you know a lot about it, do you happen to know anyone's name? Or even the kingdom's name?”

Merlin shook his head, “It's mostly images I see, I barely hear anything and if I do, it's not much.”

“I'm sure you know that kingdoms, much like countries today, each have their very own crest that represents the kingdom for others to recognize. Does the kingdom of your dreams happen to have a crest?”

His eyes lit up a bit, glad that he could answer the question, “Actually, yes. It's not a lot though. It's basically a red flag with a golden dragon on it.”

“Interesting,” the doctor mumbled as he wrote the information down.

 

At the hospital, Arthur had to take care of smaller affairs at the reception until dinner and then proceeded to do some paperwork in a small bureau that no one used.

Just like the previous two days, Arthur finished some of the tasks he had before sneaking off to Merlin's room again.

Again, he knocked and waited for Merlin to call him inside before he opened the door and stepped inside, “Knock knock,” he greeted the other.

With a raised brow Merlin remarked, “There isn't really a point in saying 'knock knock' _after_ entering.”

“Gotta keep it interesting. I can't just do what everyone else does, where would be the excitement in anything, if you already knew the ending?”

“You're terrible,” Merlin argued with a small grin.

“But you haven't kicked me out yet.”

Merlin nodded, “You're quite persistent.”

“Cliché.”

“How come you manage to sneak off from work without anyone noticing?”

“Skills,” Arthur grinned proudly.

The raven-haired raised his brows again, “Skills?”

“I told you yesterday, I've been here a lot. But my father always told me that I could never go to the patient's room, cause I shouldn't bother them. But I've been a rather curious child, so in that point I didn't listen to my father. It made me feel like a spy.”

“You should start listening to your father then.”

Arthur pretended to be hurt by the other's words, “And here I thought you would like my company.”

“I'm not sure if I do just yet,” Merlin admitted.

“So,” Arthur started as he walked over to the empty bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling, “How do you like it here?”

Merlin silently followed the other with his eyes, not moving from where he was standing. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Obviously. I just wondered what it must be like.”

“You mean to be trapped inside a building and being forced to talk about your personal thoughts?”

Arthur turned his head to Merlin and nodded lightly, “Yes.”

Merlin walked over to the bed and sat down in front of it to face Arthur, “A prison would give you more freedom.”

A small smirk crossed his face, “I'm not sure about that.”

“No, really, I've heard prisons are actually quite nice,” Merlin insisted.

“Good to know,” Arthur chuckled.

With a nod he agreed, “If you plan on doing something illegal then yes.”

“Are you saying that I look like someone who will end up in prison?”

Merlin shrugged, “I don't see why not. You're quite the prat.”

“I am not,” Arthur protested.

“Yes you are,” Merlin insisted with a grin.

Remembering something, Arthur sat up on the ground with his back against the bed so he was now on one level with Merlin. He then grabbed into the pockets of his pants and got out two chocolate bars, handing one of them to the other, “I thought you might like a snack that does not come from the hospital's kitchen.”

There was a bit of suspicion on his face when he replied, “You expect me to eat something that has most likely been inside your pockets for hours?”

“It doesn't get much better than that,” Arthur stated.

Merlin took the chocolate bar, “Thanks,” he smiled a bit.

Both of them opened the package and ate the candy.

“It actually tastes good,” Merlin said with the most surprised voice he could put on.

“Don't be so surprised. It's not like it's boiling inside here.”

“Yes, but you don't keep food inside your pockets. That's disgusting.”

“And yet you're eating it,” the blond countered.

With a roll of his eyes Merlin replied, “I take what I get.”

Neither of them could explain why, but just the other's presence was really nice. It was almost like filling a hole although they never knew it was even there. It felt like they knew another, though they didn't.

“What exactly is your job here?”

With a rather annoyed smile Arthur explained, “I get to do what no one in their right mind would do. Especially no one with a college degree making money by working here.”

“Paper work?”

Arthur nodded, “You got it.”

“Doesn't sound very exciting,” Merlin agreed.

“It's not.”

“So why do you do it? I'm sure your father has enough money.”

“He does. But I don't. He thinks it's a good idea for me to already get some working experience as well as save some money for the future. To move out and get a car and whatever else I'll need in life.”

“Those things do cost things.”

“It's just not exactly fun to spend what free time I have from college to work at a place I'll never really work in anyway.”

“What will you work as then, if not the doctor you already look like?”

Arthur laughed at the joke, “I'm currently studying archeology. I'm actually in my last year.”

“Archeology?” Merlin repeated, surprised and interested at the same time.

“Is it that surprising?”

“I wouldn't have thought of you as a history kinda guy.”

The blond leaned back a little bit, “I don't even know to be honest, I've just always been interested in it. How people used to live I mean. I'd love to know about that. To see what life used to be like, what troubles they had, what things they held on to the most, what made them who they are. It's a bit lame, I know-”

“It's not lame,” Merlin quickly interrupted him, more than interested, “You already mentioned that you're curious, I guess it's only logical for you to even try to figure out the lives of people you will never meet.”

“There's something about it that makes me feel at ease. I don't know why, but looking at old relics feels right. There's just something familiar about them for some reason that I will probably never know.”

Merlin slid next to Arthur and leaned back too, staring at the wall in front of them, “Maybe we're not supposed to understand everything that makes us who we are.”

Arthur turned his head to Merlin, who returned the gesture, “What about you? What do you want to be?”

“I, er... I don't know,” Merlin admitted.

“Really? No clue at all?”

“I never really thought about it to be honest. I kind of been having other problems to worry about.”

Arthur frowned slightly, having almost forgotten that Merlin was, for whatever reason, in a mental hospital. Of course he was not worrying about his future career path, “Right, sorry.”

“Stop looking like I'm going to kill you, I didn't think of you as a hospital slut anyway.”

“A _hospital slut_?” Arthur repeated as if he had never heard either of these words before.

Merlin nodded lightly, “Yes. I decided that you cannot possibly be as stupid as to have invaded other people's privacy here before.”

“Thanks,” the blond halfway questioned, unsure of what to say exactly.

With a little giggle Merlin continued, “And since you're still not a doctor, not that it would be too different if you were, you have no idea what it's like in my head, so it's rather obvious that you wouldn't be aware of my not caring about jobs and all.”

He was a little relieved that Merlin didn't hold it against him, yet he also felt a bit unsure since he barely knew Merlin, even though he felt like he did.

“You're still a prat though,” Merlin added with a grin.

“I almost feel like that's better than being a hospital slut, so I guess I'll just accept it.”

The raven-haired laughed, “You could be both, too, if you want to.”

Arthur smirked, “No thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :-)


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

 

A few weeks passed and Merlin was now used to the life in the mental hospital. He stopped minding to be there, enjoying the sessions with Doctor Reed as well as the daily visits he got from Arthur. Whilst the blond still didn't know about Merlin's condition, the doctor was told more and more about Merlin's dreams. One day, much to the doctor's surprise, Merlin actually handed him his dream journal and his sketchbook.

“Before you read it, let me just tell you one of the things I wrote down already, because you are going to think I've completely lost it and so I want to already tell you to shut up.”

“Go ahead,” the doctor said, curious to what he was going to hear.

Merlin sighed as he took a seat and looked the doctor in the eye. “First of all, you have to promise to keep a secret.”

“Okay.”

“You probably know that your boss, Doctor Masterson, has a son, right?”

Doctor Reed nodded, “Arthur, yes, why?”

“He... for whatever reason, decided that it would be fine to come into my room, even though only doctors being allowed to do so.”

“Do you- do you want me to tell his father? Is he harassing you?”

Merlin chuckled lightly, glad that the doctor was so concerned about him, “No, at first I saw it as that, but I never minded. He, despite me telling him not to harass me, kept coming back and still does so. In fact, he comes by every single day. It's really fun, actually, and I'm glad that he does, next to you he is the only interesting part of this whole crap. Besides that he's also the first close friend I've been having, which is nice.”

The doctor listened silently, trying to see where this was going.

Looking back up at the doctor, Merlin continued, “Now, if you laugh at what I'm about to say, I _will_ repay you. Anyway, so, erm... For some, rather strange reason, Arthur is the... Arthur is the king that I am serving in my dreams.”

Doctor Reed's eyes widened in surprise, “But- but haven't you had the dreams including the latter king all the time already?”

“Yes, that's why it's so strange,” Merlin said, a bit of sass in his voice.

“Well, that is... that is interesting. Have you met Arthur before?”

“No,” Merlin denied the question, “And even if I had, in my dreams he has always looked just like he does now. How?”

“I- I have no idea, but I'm sure that it does mean something. It has to.”

“Great,” Merlin remarked with a sigh. He didn't want his first and only good friend to be involved in his problematic and illogical situation, though he was aware that Arthur was since the day he first met him.

 

Getting to know Arthur more and more raised Merlin's curiosity in him and the familiar feeling he got everytime he was talking to Arthur and with that, his wish to finally understanding his dreams grew as well.

“Uni was terrible, I had to study all night for that goddamn exam, cheer me up,” Arthur greeted the other as he walked inside, closing the door behind him and then sitting down on the small bed.

Merlin stared at the blond now sitting next to him for a while before joking, “Looks like you got up on the wrong side of the table.”

The blond turned his head to the other, looking at Merlin dead serious as he was laughing at his own joke, “That's extremely clever and funny, Merlin. There really are no limits to your wit.”

Although Arthur looked like he was about to kill Merlin, the dark-haired boy couldn't help but laugh anyway.

“Maybe you should go there for me once,” Arthur complained.

“Sorry, can't leave this place,” Merlin replied, trying to hide his grin, “But of course I would if I could.”

“Shut up, Merlin.”

Merlin continued laughing, resulting him to be hit on the arm by Arthur's fist, “Ow!”

“You deserve it, you idiot,” Arthur defended himself seriously, having to suppress a grin.

“You're the idiot,” Merlin argued, to which the blond replied by putting Merlin in a headlock and rubbing his hair with his knuckles.

“Ow!” Merlin exclaimed, trying to get out of the other's grip.

After a few seconds of torture, Arthur let go of Merlin, a big grin on his face, “You shouldn't have called me an idiot.”

“I just don't want to lie to you,” Merlin replied, grinning.

 

As he and Arthur got closer, Merlin's dreams started focusing more on the blond, too. Despite Arthur having been a major part of his dream history before already, he was now in every single dream and had an even bigger part in them as well.

“I always think I must look terrible, seeing as I need to get up quite early and stay up late studying, but then I see you and, for some reason you look not just like your skin has never seen the sunlight, but those shadows under your eyes almost suggest that you don't sleep at all,” Arthur stated at one point during one of his visits at Merlin's room.

Merlin put on a small smirk, still not able to tell Arthur his reason for staying at the hospital, as he half-joked, “I can only imagine you living in quite the fancy place with a king-sized bed and presumably ten mattresses on it as well, so I don't expect you to understand the uncomfortableness of hospital beds.”

The description made Arthur laugh, “You might be right with that assumption, however, I must disappoint you and correct you, although I do have a large bed, I do not have ten mattresses on it, unfortunately.”

“I could actually imagine you as _The Princess and the Pea._ ”

Arthur chuckled, “I'm a strong sleeper, actually, I probably wouldn't notice.”

“Doubtable. Although the part where you wouldn't notice food in your room wouldn't surprise me much. You look just like someone who doesn't tidy or clean up regularly.”

“I actually do tidy and clean up regularly, I just don't enjoy it,” Arthur improved the other's statement.

“Then I suppose you will get yourself a maid once you got your own place?”

“I think I'd manage without one actually.”

“I'd like to see that,” Merlin laughed.

Arthur chuckled, “Of course you would.”

“But only if you wore a maid costume to it,” he joked, making the other laugh.

“Now you're over-doing it.”

“Am I?”

Arthur nodded, “Just a little bit.”

 

The very next day, much to Merlin's surprise, Arthur walked inside with a backpack.

“What's that? Don't you trust your coworkers not to steal your lunch and whatever else is inside there?”

“Very funny, but not true.”

“Then what is it?”

“I've got you something,” Arthur stated as he sat down next to Merlin and pulled out a portable DVD player.

Merlin looked at Arthur, his eyebrows raised, “What is that?”

“A portable DVD player, you idiot.”

“I know that,” Merlin rolled his eyes, “I meant what are you doing with it here?”

Arthur smiled a little bit, “You once told me that you did, in fact, like thrillers. I need to put that statement under a test.”

Merlin's eyes lit up as he smiled at Arthur, thankful for the trouble the other went through each day, “Thank you, Arthur.”

“No need to thank me, that's what friends are for, aye?”

“You did, however, forget that one cannot watch a movie without snacks and drinks,” Merlin remarked only to have Arthur pull out a bag of popcorn, a can of tea and two mugs.

“Fancy,” Merlin smiled.

Arthur nodded, “I think of everything, don't you underestimate me, mate.”

“I would never,” Merlin replied teasingly.

They then placed the DVD player on the little night table and sat close next to another with their snacks and drinks on their laps. Arthur wasn't too much into the thriller genre, he preferred action and adventure movies, but he had seen this move before and had actually quite enjoyed it.

Throughout the movie, the two joked and laughed and occasionally also moved a bit closer together.

“I can't believe you're actually into movies like this,” Arthur stated in the middle of the movie.

Merlin turned his head to him and teased, “You don't need to be afraid, Arthur.”

“Very funny,” Arthur replied, rolling his eyes, “Come on, Merlin, that is completely unrealistic to happen.”

“That is what stories mostly are like.”

“I know. But this is beyond ridiculous.”

“Just like you,” Merlin shrugged.

Arthur stuck out his tongue at the other, “Shut up, Merlin.”

“Make me,” Merlin challenged the other.

“You should watch your tongue, Merlin, people might take you by your word.”

Merlin shrugged, “Maybe that's my goal.”

The two looked into each other's eyes silently, blocking the movie out. Although he didn't want to risk misunderstanding Merlin's words, Arthur knew that it was at least his opportunity and he was not going to let it pass. After seconds of staring into his blue eyes, Arthur finally moved his face closer to the other's until there was almost no space between them anymore before softly placing his lips on Merlin's. The moment Arthur did, Merlin closed his eyes ere going deeper into the kiss. Arthur now turned his body more to Merlin as he gently placed his arm around Merlin's stomach, stroking him lightly. In return, Merlin wrapped his leg over Arthur's and ran his fingers through the blond hair. Slowly, the two broke away, keeping their faces close nonetheless and going back to silently looking into each other's eyes.

“Maybe shutting up once in a while isn't that terrible after all,” Merlin quietly stated.

With a bright smile on his face, Arthur answered, “Seems like we can agree on something.”

 

From then on, the two spent most of their time together cuddling on the small bed or playing games against another on the two Nintendo DS that Arthur one day brought with him. There were nights in which Merlin had rather unsatisfying, if not even terrible nightmares, the worst of it being him holding Arthur in his arms, watching him die slowly. That was the first time that in a very long while that Merlin woke up crying from one of his dreams. Although he had gotten used to them, emotional dreams like that still had their impact on Merlin and even though Arthur knew it, he never addressed it, much to Merlin's appreciation, instead he would lie on the bed with Merlin and hold him in his arms and place gentle kisses on his face.

Besides his always improving relationship with Arthur, he knew he made progress in his sessions with Doctor Reed as well and could tell that the doctor had some sort of theory going on, but he wasn't letting Merlin in on it yet. At this point, Merlin trusted the doctor enough to give him full details on his dreams as well as his own feelings towards them, which he sometimes couldn't quite explain himself.

 

“And the next thing I know, is that all of my friends are being chased by the royal guards and there was cake _everywhere_!” Arthur finished one of his stories from the time he had spent in London with his friends during the summer.

Merlin laughed as he was imagining the described scene, “The poor cake!”

“That's what I thought,” Arthur agreed with a chuckle.

“You honestly are the worst, Arthur.”

“Bare with me,” he grinned in return.

The dark-haired boy smirked, “It's not like you leave me much of a choice.”

“It's not like you're complaining.”

“True,” Merlin confirmed before the two leaned into a small kiss.

 

Arthur could never stay too long, after all his visits were secret and to prevent his father from suspecting anything, he had to manage finishing all his tasks despite hanging out at Merlin's room. With that, Merlin always had plenty of free time left until supper, which he mostly spend in the library. Now, however, he spend his time in his room to tidy and clean it up a little. After his third week of staying, he had insisted on getting his own cleaning supplies, because he feared he would go mad otherwise. Cleaning had always been important to him and with all the free time he had, in which he could barely do anything, cleaning was a good way to spend his time usefully. He was just done cleaning his bathroom and moved on to tidying up his closet, when he heard a knock on the door, which was strange, seeing as Arthur had already left half an hour prior to that.

He stared at the door for a while, before walking towards it and opening it, much to his surprise.

“Mom? Dad?” He asked, staring at the couple as if he saw ghosts.

Both of them looked really happy, looking into his room to signalize their son that they wanted to come inside. Catching the hint, Merlin stepped to the side, “Please, come in.”

The two stepped inside, Merlin sending a questioning look to Doctor Reed who had brought them to Merlin's room. With an unsure look himself, the doctor stepped inside.

“What are you two doing here?”

“We got news for you,” Christy cheered.

Merlin raised his brows, “News is never good.”

Although Doctor Reed stood next to him, Merlin felt unsure and a little lost at what was going on and the doctor didn't seem to know much more either.

“I got a fantastic job offer,” the ginger-haired woman continued her cheering.

“You got a fantastic job offer? That's the big news that made you drive all the way here?” Merlin repeated, still not understanding anything.

Christy nodded, “In New York City!”

“N-new York?” Merlin raised his brows again, surprised by the far off place.

“Yes.”

“O-kay?”

“We'll move there next month,” Alex explained.

Merlin looked between the two, his heart starting to beat a little faster, “By _we_ you don't include me, right?”

“Well of course we do!”

His confused face now turned into a terrified one, “No-no no no no, you can't do that.”

“Why not? You didn't want to come here in the first place.”

“Of course I didn't want to be stuck in a place like this, who does?”

“Then where is the problem?”

Doctor Reed stepped into the conversation, back up Merlin, “I'm sorry, but we're in the middle of working on his case together, you can't take him away now.”

“You figured something out? Why weren't we informed about this?” Christy asked, a bit outraged.

“Well, uh,” the doctor stuttered, knowing that he couldn't tell them the truth, “Like I said, we are working on it.”

“There are doctors in New York City as well.”

“But I don't want a doctor from New York, I like Doctor Reed,” Merlin interrupted the adults, “And as far as I'm concerned this is about me, don't I have a say in who gets to get a look inside my head? I don't need to tell ten more doctors about it, they can't help either.”

His father turned to him with doubt, “And what makes your Doctor Reed so different?”

“He's not a goddamn hypocrite that treats me like a child and making me false promises.”

“Merlin, we can't just leave you behind, you don't live here forever and you also don't have a job in order to live on your own, so you got no choice but to come with us.”

Merlin shook his had angrily, “That is so typical of you. Don't pretend like you care about me, if you never even listen to what I want. When will you realize that these constant changes aren't helping me? When will you realize that I know myself best and so I know when someone is good for me. You guys don't know anything.”

While his parents stood there, looking at him perplexed and not knowing what to say, Merlin turned away and walked out the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :-)


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

 

Since there weren't many places Merlin could go to, he decided to go to the library. He didn't feel like reading, but it was practically the only option for him at the moment. Now he could only hope that Doctor Reed would get rid of his parents and that they would drive back home again. Once he was in the library, he sat down at one of the desks, hidden in a corner where no one could see him. Looking out of the window he thought about what had just happened. One month and they would be gone. He would be gone. He knew Doctor Reed was about to crack the mystery and let him in on it as well and then he would finally understand. No one had ever gotten that close, and no one ever would. He couldn't just leave now that he was so close to finally understanding himself. And then, of course, there was Arthur. Although he still didn't understand why he knew Arthur from his dreams, it was currently more important to him that he would have to leave him behind and he didn't want that. Throughout his life he had moved an awful lot, which was just one of many reasons he never really had had any friends, nor close ones for that matter. Going even beyond that, he had never been in love before and there was no way he was just going to leave a friend behind.

Knowing his mother, she was not going to give in, especially not as long as he couldn't give her a valid reason. But he could hardly tell her that Doctor Reed was close to understanding him, after all he wanted to know first and whether or not he even wanted his parents to know.

 

“Maybe you should call them, explain them why you don't want to go,” Doctor Reed suggested the next day during their session.

Merlin cracked a small smile, “No, neither you nor Arthur would be enough to convince my mom from not moving.”

“It seems hard to see, but if your parents didn't care about you, you wouldn't be here right now.”

“What they care about is getting me better 'cause they can't deal with it. But the dreams are still there.”

The elder one nodded, “Although, overall, they have been getting less scary, right?”

“A little bit,” Merlin quietly replied, still feeling down from his conversation with his parents.

“That's something. At least it's not nothing. If we just tell them that-”

“It's not gonna work,” Merlin interrupted him, “They have settled their mind on going to the US again, I can't change that and nothing will. Because if there was a remarkably positive change in my dreams, they would say that I don't need you anymore. So no matte what we tell them, it's not gonna change their mind.”

Doctor Reed sighed, looking into Merlin's honest, and especially hopeless, eyes, “Okay, I have been meaning to wait a bit longer to collect some more dreams and all, but I think it's time for you to know.”

“To know what?” Merlin asked, tilting his head.

Full of excitement the doctor started, “I'm having a theory, a crazy theory, about you and your dreams and everything and if it's true, and I highly believe that it is, then you cannot possibly leave.”

“Doctor- Doctor Reed! Calm down, calm down!,” Merlin said, not being able to make sense of the other's words, “What _are_ you talking about?”

“Well,” he continued, taking a breath to calm himself down a bit. He then took out his collected information and put them on the table between them, “When I first asked you to describe your dreams, especially the place your dreams are set in, you said it was a bit of a medieval castle, and it had magic, like dragons and trolls and fairies. Content wise, you have told me about knights fighting creatures and evil people, you have told me about horse rides and battles, of kings and spells and potions. Furthermore, and this is a very important detail, you have told me that you have seen Arthur before, in your dreams, and that he was, in fact, a king as well as a knight in them. And to me, that can only mean one thing.”

Merlin could already suspect what was to come next, and part of him was a bit scared to hear it, “Don't tell me-”

“You dream of Camelot,” Doctor Reed quickly concluded to prevent Merlin from interrupted him.

“That doesn't explain why I would have been able to dream of Arthur before having met him.”

“It does.”

Merlin raised his finger as a warning, “Say reincarnation and I'm gonna hit you with your books.”

Doctor Reed looked a bit disappointed, yet still optimistic, “Do you have a better explanation?”

“You, as someone having spent years in college and even writing a doctor work and then getting your college degree and now having had years of experience in your job, want to tell me that I was a wizard and that Arthur was a king?”

Hearing it being said like that, the doctor couldn't help but realize that it didn't sound very realistic, “I know it sounds ridiculous, but there is no other explanation.”

“How about you tell my parents that so they put you in here as a patient as well! Then I'd be gone faster than the speed of light!”

“That's why I didn't tell them, and I don't plan on doing so either, because that is all up to you. Your half hour is over now anyway, think about it and come back tomorrow.”

Merlin threw his arms up in disbelief, “And now you're just telling me to leave?”

“Yes I am, goodbye Merlin.”

“You,” Merlin started, but sighed his anger away, knowing that there wasn't much he could say now anyway, wherefore he got up instead and left.

He couldn't believe that the doctor was actually suggesting that Merlin was a powerful sorcerer once. That was beyond ridiculous, even though it actually made sense, but Merlin didn't want it to be true. It was one thing to be haunted by nightmares every night, but to have them be one's past life was just a bit too crazy, even for him. And what was he supposed to tell Arthur? Merlin was well aware that he couldn't keep his condition from him forever, but he couldn't possibly tell him what Doctor Reed had just told him. Then even Arthur wouldn't return anymore that much was clear.

 

“That is not the face of a happy boy,” a voice ripped Merlin out of his thoughts as he stared at the food in front of him.

“Then it's at least an honest face,” he replied, looking up at the younger girl.

Macy sat down across from Merlin, staring at him as if she could read his mind, “What is on your mind?”

“What isn't?”

“I got a visit yesterday.”

Macy looked at him, slightly confused, “Don't you get a visit everyday?”

Leaning forward to prevent anyone from listening in on them, he whispered, “I'm not talking about Arthur... My parents came by.”

Once he leaned back again, the ginger-haired asked, “Your parents? Are you still mad at them for putting you in here?”

“It wasn't very nice of them, but that's not it. They want to move to the United States again and take me with them.”

“What?” Macy exclaimed in frustration, “They can't!”

“Of course they can, they're my parents,” Merlin sighed.

“When?”

“One month.”

“But I still don't know about your dreams, you can't leave me in ignorance!”

Merlin chuckled, delighted to hear that that was her biggest problem about him leaving, “I don't think you actually want to.”

“Of course I do, you have to.”

He smiled lightly at her as he calmly replied, “Maybe one day I will. Maybe one day, when I understand them myself with certainty, I will.”

A satisfied smile formed on her face, “Good. Then you got one month to be certain about them. If you aren't yet at that point, you have to tell your parents to wait another month.”

“Sorry, but I don't think you'd be the reason that would let me stay.”

“That sucks.”

Merlin nodded, “It does.”

 

Three weeks passed and Merlin lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Lost in thought he didn't notice Arthur walking in and approaching him.

“Merlin? Are you there?” Arthur repeated, now standing over the other.

A bit startled, Merlin looked at Arthur, “Sorry, I- I didn't hear you.”

“I can see that,” Arthur agreed, “You have been like this for weeks now, lost in thought, completely absent-minded and clearly upset. Something's up.”

Merlin sat up so Arthur could sit down next to him. He cracked a little smile, although it was obvious to Arthur that Merlin was upset, “Maybe, yes.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Merlin looked down, then turned his body to more easily see Arthur, “My parents came by a few weeks ago.”

“Why?” Arthur asked, knitting his brows.

“My mom got a better job offer. In New York.”

“New York?” The blond repeated in great shock.

Merlin nodded, “Yes. We're gonna move there next week.”

“Wait- they will take you with them? But they can't!”

“They can't leave me here either.”

“But they alright have!” Arthur immediately regretted his words, “Sorry.”

Merlin smiled, “No, you're right, they have. But they can't leave me here while moving to another continent.”

Arthur stared at Merlin, speechlessly, “Well, you, uh... you never told me, why you're here, but whatever it is, your health is a bit more important than a better job offer.”

“Trust me, I know that. The problem is they don't see that. For them, every doctor is the same so they don't really care about switching doctors constantly, even if someone is actually good.”

“Can't you convince them?”

“No way.”

Arthur looked at Merlin, lost at what to do, “What do you want to do now? Please don't tell me you will let them take you away like that.”

“What do you expect me to do? I can't just stay here. They have to pay for it after all, I don't have a job to pay for this. And even if I did, it's not like I actually want to spend the rest of my life here. I just... don't want to leave the country, let alone the continent.”

“What you need to do is break out,” Macy, who was suddenly standing in the door frame, declared.

The two boys winced at her sudden appearance. She closed the door and walked over to the bed the two were sitting on.

“Macy,” Merlin exclaimed, “Have you never heard of knocking?”

“I have, but I decided that I find it boring.”

Merlin shook his head, but Arthur smiled at her proposal, “She is right, though.”

“At least _someone_ in here is in there right mind,” Macy said with a proud grin.

“Your great plan is to have me run away? You do realize that the problem of me being on my own is my lack of money due to me not having a job?”

Macy shrugged, “You don't expect me to plan everything out on my own, do you?”

“It's the best plan so far.”

“That's because it's the only one so far,” Merlin countered, “It's easy for you two to say I could just run off, but for me it isn't. I can't just get a job without having been to college. And college costs money, which, again, I don't have.”

“You're such a pessimist,” Macy sighed.

“A realist, there is a difference,” Merlin argued.

Arthur shrugged, “I believe it is a good idea. It is at least a way to keep you here.”

“Alright, since you two are so fond of the idea, would you mind telling me where you plan on having me stay? And how to get food and everything else I need in order not to die within a week?”

Macy looked a little lost, “I'm just a teenager, don't ask me, it's not like I got my own place.”

Arthur thought for a moment, “I do.”

Merlin looked at Arthur, his eyebrows raised, “You do?”

“Well, not my own place to live, but my family has a vacation house close by. We could take you there, we haven't been there in forever.”

“Great, so you're gonna dump me in some abandoned vacation house.”

“I could stay with you,” Arthur suggested.

“Because that makes everything less suspicious and than no one would bother looking there at all, what a perfect idea,” Merlin countered sarcastically.

Arthur sighed, “I know that it is, but I don't plan on keeping you there for all eternity anyway, it's only a temporary solution.”

“It's only going to postpone the day I leave, so what's the point?”

“Maybe it's going to show your parents that you don't want to leave and they change their mind about it. Why don't we at least give it a try?”

Macy nodded, “You promised me something, Merlin, and until you tell me I won't let you go, even if it means kidnapping you.”

Merlin sighed, “Neither of you are going to give up, are you?”

“Nope,” the two said in unison.

“Where exactly is that house you plan on dragging me to?”

“Swansea, it's just a one hour drive,” Arthur explained.

“And you have a car?”

Arthur shook his head, “I don't.”

“Then unless you plan on having us walk there, how do you expect us to get there?”

“Doctor Reed,” Macy blurted out.

Merlin looked at her, “Why?”

“You said you trust him and I'm sure he would do it, he's cool.”

Arthur nodded in agreement, “Doctor Reed is great, he would do it.”

Merlin shook his head, “I don't want even more people to get involved and get in trouble for it. He could lose his job!”

“No one has to know that he drove us there.”

“Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed, “How can you say that like that, don't you have any kind of responsibility?”

“Oh come on, Merlin, it's not like there are no buses or trains or planes going there that we could have taken, besides I also have friends who could have taken us. At least this way he won't get worried about you suddenly disappearing.”

Merlin sighed knowing that he was right, “I suppose so. But, if he gets into trouble, you will stand up for him and do whatever it takes to prevent him from getting into trouble.”

Arthur smiled brightly, “I will.”

“So, how will we do it exactly, _if_ Doctor Reed helps us?” Merlin asked.

“Did your parents tell you when they'll come to get you?”

Merlin nodded, “I think Doctor Reed mentioned a date not too far from now, probably two or three days.”

“Then we should leave tomorrow, to make sure they won't get here before we even have the chance to leave,” Arthur proposed, much to Macy's agreement.

“I think that's for the best, too. We should leave in the afternoon, around 3 in the afternoon. That way we make sure that everyone is done with dinner and already settled down in some room for free time activities and when someone notices you missing at supper, you'll have arrived at your destination already. And Arthur would still have hours left of his shift, so his father wouldn't notice anything too soon either.”

The blond nodded, “And Doctor Reed's shift ends at noon, too, so no one would notice him missing either.”

“Okay, but since we leave together, wouldn't someone be able to make a connection between both of us missing and then your father might suspect something?”

“Don't worry about that,” Macy interjected, “Since I'll be staying here, I could say that you're not feeling well.”

Merlin wasn't convinced just yet, “Though that might work for the evening, you can't keep that up forever.”

“It will buy you at least a day. Also, how about Arthur tells his father that he'll stay over at his friend's place? I'm sure you have a friend you could call that would stand up for you.”

Arthur grinned, “I do, in fact, have just the right candidate for that.”

“Alright, but would your father allow you to skip the next day of work to stay at a friend's house?”

“One of my friends just so happened to have moved out last week and is still in the middle of renovating. And since that is in London, I wouldn't be able to get back home over night. Besides, in case you two have forgotten, tomorrow is Friday, the nineteenth of December, therefore the last day of Uni for this semester, so I won't have any classes that I would miss anytime soon.”

Merlin sighed, a bit frustrated about the convenience of the situation. Although he was also glad about having friends that didn't want him to leave as much as he himself didn't want to, he was also not looking forward to worrying his parents and having them find him and then forcefully and angrily drag him to America with them. “Fine, I give up, your plan is basically waterproof, at least temporarily seen. You win.”

Macy and Arthur looked at another cheerfully.

 

After leaving, Arthur decided to pay Doctor Reed a visit and let him in on the plan of smuggling Merlin out of the mental hospital. Although Arthur had already expected the doctor to accept their request of driving them there, he was still surprised of Doctor Reed's immediate liking of their plan.

“I know you there is the doctor-patient confidentiality and I won't ask you to break it, all I want to know is whether or not it is safe for Merlin to be without a doctor?” Arthur asked at the end of their conversation.

With a light smile the doctor nodded, “No need to worry, Arthur, that is absolutely fine. Merlin is quite experienced, he knows how to take care of himself, although I am glad that you want to stay with him.”

“I just have one more question,” Arthur added, “When Merlin arrived here for the first time, the doctors made quite the mystery of him, which suggests that there is something rather special about him. Are you absolutely certain that it is alright for him to be out of reach?”

“He _is_ quite the mysterious case, actually, but that doesn't mean that he needs a lot of help. I think he is in good hands with you. Besides, I will leave my number for you two so you can call should there be anything you need.”

Arthur smiled in appreciation, “Thank you, Doctor Reed. I will meet you tomorrow afternoon then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :-)


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

 

The evening before leaving, Arthur told his family about going to London to help his friend move in, much to his father's and sister's surprise.

“ _You_ will go to help your friend?” Morgana had asked.

With a sarcastic grin he had replied, “Yes, you are not the only person helping their friends. Besides, it's a great opportunity to take a break from working for father.”

“So _that_ i s your reason, I knew there was more to it!”

With that, Arthur was able to pack his bag and not be concerned about his father missing him and getting concerned.

The day after, Merlin used the half hour of free time before dinner to pack his things in his bag. Luckily, even if someone was to come into his room shortly after he was gone, they wouldn't notice him missing right away, due to him having put his things away in the closet and drawers in his room.

After Doctor Reed's shift was done, he drove to the little restaurant near by to enjoy a nice dinner before driving the boys to Swansea.

Arthur and his father had decided that Arthur wouldn't have to come into work that day at all, since he had a lecture in the morning and told his father that he would leave in the afternoon, wherefore his father said that it would then be unnecessary to come to work at all. After his lecture was done, he took the next train to the hospital to meet up with the others. Doctor Reed was already in his car, which he had parked around the corner where no one would see him. After Arthur arrived and placed his suitcase in the trunk, he opened the backseat door.

Looking into the rear view mirror, the doctor asked, “Did everything work out?”

“Perfectly. Father believes that I am now on my way to London,” Arthur confirmed.

“Good. Then we only have to hope that Merlin managed to sneak out of the hospital.”

 

Meanwhile, dinner was over and everyone had gone back to their own activities. Macy joined Merlin in his room.

“So, since you are the master of plans, how do you expect me to get out of here without being seen?”

“Luckily, this is ground floor, so the window will do.”

Merlin looked at her in disbelief, “You've got to be kidding me.”

“What? It's your best shot. You can't be seen going through the front door and you certainly can't be seen going through it with your suitcase. Either way, you would have to first dump your suitcase out of the window and therefore would have to go there anyway, so you might as well go out there too. If no one sees you outside your room it's for the better anyway.”

“I get that, but what if someone is looking out of there window?”

“In case you haven't noticed, it's December and with that it's damn cold out there. You just put on a winter jacket and a hat and you're as good as unrecognizable.”

He gave her an unsure look, “I doubt that. Besides, even if they didn't recognize it being me, as long as someone sees someone climbing out there window, they might tell someone.”

“First of all, no one stares out of there goddamn window during their freedom, and second, no one cares either. As long as they don't see you climbing out of the window, everything's fine. It's not like no one would ever walk along the building.”

Merlin muttered a, “Fine,” under his breath before he grabbed his black coat and one of his beanies as well as a pair of warm gloves and put everything one. While he did so, Macy opened the window a little bit and carefully lifted the suitcase out and lowered it on the ground.

“It's quite good, actually,” she remarked as she leaned back into the room, “There's a hedge just about half a meter from the wall so no one can see you from there. Also, you should be able to fit under it, at least I don't think that there are too many branches in the way. If not you just need to quickly jump over it.”

“Okay, I'm ready,” he said, approaching the bed where she was standing.

She looked into his blue eyes for a quick second before pulling him into a hug, “You can do it!”

He was surprised about the gesture, but eventually pulled his arms around her once he came back to his senses, “Thanks, for everything.”

“Don't forget me, okay?”

“How could I?” He smiled as he gently pushed himself away from her to look into her eyes, “I promised you something after all, haven't I?”

A big smile returned to her face, “I count on you.”

“I guess I'm off now.”

“Wait, before you go,” she quickly said to stop him, “Just wait two more minutes. I'll go outside to make sure that no one will see you from there and stop you.”

“Thanks,” he smiled once more and then she left.

Two minutes later, Merlin carefully climbed out of the window, always staying close to the wall to prevent people from seeing him. He lay on the ground to get a good look under the hedge. He couldn't get under it, but could at least get the suitcase under it. He then walked around the hedge, which wasn't suspicious at all, grabbed his suitcase and somehow continued his way out.

To everyone's luck Merlin made it without being seen. Once he made it out of the gate, he was able to walk freely, after all everyone seeing him could simply imagine him having checked out instead of running away. He walked to where Doctor Reed had told him to go and immediately saw the car that had been described to be the doctor's car. Once he reached it, he opened the trunk and put his suitcase and backpack inside before going to the door and getting inside, sitting next to Arthur.

“You made it,” Arthur cheered.

The doctor turned around, relieved that everything worked well, “Perfect, if everyone's ready I'd say we should go now.”

Merlin nodded, “We shouldn't waste any time. Who knows how long it takes for anyone to notice.”

And so the car ride began. Being the middle of December, it was beginning to get dark already, but the world was lit up by street lamps and snowflakes making their way towards the ground. Merlin watched them slowly falling down, calmed down by the motion. He was so focused on watching snow covering the ground that he didn't notice the car ride already being over.

“We're there,” Doctor Reed said once he stopped the car, “Time to get inside.”

The three got out and unloaded the car. Arthur went ahead and got the key out to open the door and lead the other two men inside, “Here we are.”

“This is really nice,” Merlin remarked as he looked around the cozy-looking interior.

“Indeed,” Doctor Reed agreed, stepping inside.

Arthur nodded, agreeing with a quiet, “Yeah.”

“Where's the kitchen?”

“Right this way,” Arthur said before walking the doctor to his destination, where he and the others filled it with what Doctor Reed had bought for them.

“It's not a lot,” he noted, “But since I've been meaning to check in on you guys again anyway, I thought I would just bring more food with me then. This should be enough for tomorrow at least.”

Merlin smiled in appreciation, “Thank you. So we should be expecting you here again in two days?”

“Yes, since that will be a Sunday I can come by early and bring you breakfast too.”

Arthur nodded, happy that the doctor was willing to do so much for them, “That is very kind of you.”

“Besides,” the doctor continued, “I am still Merlin's doctor and would love to be kept updated.”

Merlin sent him a bitter look, although he tried to stay calm, “No you don't.”

“Yes I do.”

“There is nothing more to say,” Merlin insisted, much to the doctor's surprise.

Raising his eyebrows he asked, “Oh, is that so? So you agree with me then?”

“No, of course not!” Merlin exclaimed, frustrated that the doctor insisted on his theory, which Merlin was positive was not reality.

Arthur curiously watched the conversation, trying to make sense of it, but was terribly lost instead, “In case anyone wonders, I also think it's best for him to make sure you're alright.”

“Perfect,” the doctor smiled, “Anyway, I should get going now, I believe you two will manage yourselves for now. In case you do need anything, I'll leave my number on the kitchen counter.”

The boys smiled gratefully while the doctor put a piece of paper in front of them. After telling their goodbyes, Doctor Reed left and drove back home.

“I can't believe we have actually made it this far,” was the first thing Merlin said once the small house was filled with silence.

Arthur looked at him trying to see what Merlin was thinking and feeling, but he couldn't tell for sure, “It's gonna be fine, Merlin. We are here now and until someone finds us it's gonna be a few days at least.”

Merlin put on a small smile, “Yeah, probably.”

“Okay, what is it, Merlin? Aren't you happy to be here?”

“I am, it's just... running away doesn't seem like the right thing to do. Whether they will find us sooner or later, they will be worried until then. I just don't know if that's what I want.”

With a soft smile Arthur took Merlin's hand and dragged him to the couch where the two sat down next to each other, “I understand, that you feel like this isn't going to change much, or rather that this is only going to postpone things, but you can't always think about others. This is about you, that is why we are here. Maybe they need to worry in order to realize that your opinion matters too and that they can't just drag you from place to place.”

Sighing a little, Merlin rested his head on Arthur's shoulder, “I know, but I don't think that's the right way to make them understand, even if they won't listen otherwise. It just feels like they don't even care.”

“They wouldn't pay for doctors were that so,” Arthur countered optimistically.

“I wish that would mean that. But we've been moving so many times now because one of my parents would get a better job somewhere and doctors are like schools: They're everywhere to be found, so they never had to worry about that. To them it's like having a doctor to talk to is enough to get better. Unfortunately, that isn't how it goes. For them it's a bit like when I have a doctor that I'm fine then. But that's the thing about mental stuff, it doesn't just go away, of course you can make it better and get help, but then again they never listen when I say that it doesn't.”

Arthur silently listened as Merlin spoke, happy that he started opening up more. Lifting his head off the other's shoulder, Merlin continued, now looking at Arthur, “Doctor Reed is actually the first doctor I like. The others were all a bunch of hypocrites that are just after your money. And that's what I told them when they came by recently, I told them that it's better with Doctor Reed. But they don't care. That was like a reminder, telling me that they really don't care, despite my best hopes.”

Arthur wrapped his arm around the other and pulled him close. He placed a small kiss on the dark hair before whispering, “I'm here with you, Merlin. They will come and find us eventually, but I will be here and support you. I won't let them take you away against your will. They may not want your best, but I do. And if you want to stay, I'll make sure that you do.”

Merlin closed his eyes hearing those words. Never in his life had he had someone like Arthur before, someone who truly cared and was there for him. He knew that Arthur was someone he could trust, with everything. Of course he was still not going to mention Doctor Reed's wild theory, he did, however, feel somewhat ready to let Arthur in on his condition, even though he would definitely leave Arthur out of it.

He pulled himself a bit away from Arthur and shifted his body to face him. Arthur knew that Merlin was about to tell him, he could see that. Nonetheless, Arthur was not pushing him to, he never did, which Merlin was really glad about. He had been meaning to tell Arthur the truth for a while now, but never managed to actually do it.

“It all started when I was three years old. I woke up in the middle of the night crying terribly, which, of course, is not that surprising. And even after it happened a few more times, my parents never found it too strange. But I was having nightmares more and more frequent and after two years I started having them nightly, which must have driven my parents insane,” Merlin began with a small chuckle, “So they had a doctor take a look at me. And so I was diagnosed with Nightmare Disorder, which is as simple as it sounds. Normally it's not there for too long, but despite the medication that was basically shoved inside my mouth, it didn't get better. We switched loads of doctors, but no matter what they tried, it never changed anything.”

“Explains why you look like a zombie,” Arthur teased quietly.

With a chuckle Merlin agreed, “Either that or the fact that I am one.”

“If you were a zombie, it would probably be a good time for me to leave now,” Arthur grinned before turning a bit more serious again, “Must be terrible, though. To wake up from nightmares every single night. Do you get any sleep at all?”

“Sure I do. I just wake up early and start my day then. I don't really think about it, since it's been like this practically my entire life. I guess my body has gotten used to the few hours of sleep.”

“Doesn't sound healthy.”

Merlin cracked a small smile, “Sure isn't. But there's nothing I can do about it, or anyone else for that matter.”

“I always loved having dreams, I'm glad I rarely woke up from them.”

“Thing is,” Merlin continued looking down, “I like dreams too and I don't even mind waking up from them. To me it's just as normal as everything else that just happens. But waking up from nightmares might just be what makes them scary, because you don't get to see the end of it. You are practically being ripped out of the action right in the middle. Not knowing how events turn out is so much worse than any ending could ever be, because there is this uncertainty which stays on your mind forever, always making you wonder what happened.”

“Sound like those are quite the extraordinary dreams you're having.”

Merlin looked up into Arthur's eyes, nodding lightly, “They all have this weird connection, like they are all small stories that can be put together to one big story.”

“Like memories?”

The choice of words made Merlin frown a little as they reminded him of Doctor Reed's theory. Yet, admittedly, they were right on point, “Yes.”

“Must be a bit like reading someone's diary.”

“Yeah,” Merlin confirmed, cracking a smile, “In a way. But one with loads of pages ripped out.”

“Maybe one day you'll see the end of them all,” Arthur smiled optimistically.

“I'd prefer knowing why I'm having them, actually.”

“I understand that. I'm sure you'll figure it out one day.”

Merlin sent the other an appreciating smile before leaning slightly forward to gently kiss Arthur.

“If you wake up early, you shouldn't stay up too late. Sleep is important, whether you like it or not. Come on, I'll show you the bedroom,” Arthur suggested with a soft smile as he got up, taking Merlin's hand to pull him with him.

They grabbed their suitcases and then Arthur led them to his bedroom, in which there was a gigantic closet, opposite the probably biggest Merlin had ever seen in his entire life.

Staring at it speechlessly for a while, Merlin eventually brought out a, “ _This_ is your vacation place? What the hell does your actual house look like? A castle?”

“I wish,” Arthur laughed in return, “This once belonged to my mother, it's the house she grew up in. After her parents died, she got the house. But she wanted to leave it looking exactly like this, which is why she didn't want to use it as an actual living house, but rather a vacation spot.”

Although Arthur was talking with a smile on his face, Merlin could tell, if not by the past tense the other was using, that Arthur's mother must have passed away. Putting on an uplifting smile, Merlin added, “Then we should make sure to make it stay that way.”

 

The next day, Arthur was woken up by the warm sun shining through the frozen window. Realizing that he was now awake, he slowly opened his eyes. At first he asked himself why his room looked different, until he realized where he was, which led him to being confused about Merlin's absence. Arthur remembered what Merlin had told him and calmed himself down with the knowledge of Merlin probably having been awake for some time now. Although he didn't want to, Arthur got out of bed and changed into something warmer before walking out of his room, where he was immediately greeted by the smell of food.

“I thought I could use the time of me being the only one awake here by making some breakfast. I hope you don't mind?” Merlin greeted Arthur when he heard him approach and turned around to face the blond.

With a smile Arthur answered, “Mind? I would never mind someone making breakfast. It smells great. I had no idea that you could cook.”

“How could you? It's not like I've ever mentioned it.”

“I suppose you're right with that. If you had told me right away, I practically would have thrown myself onto you.”

Merlin grinned teasingly, “I could just imagine you throwing yourself onto everyone who could make you something to eat.”

Putting on a playfully offended look, Arthur asked, “Are you calling me a slut _again_? So now I'm not just a hospital slut, but also a, uh...”

“A food slut.”

“That sounds ridiculous.”

“Then it's perfectly summing up the definition of it,” Merlin shrugged.

Arthur shook his head with a disbelieving smirk, “You're terrible, Merlin,” he commented, before kissing his cheeks and then looking into the pan with the eggs.

“Don't worry, they're almost done.”

“Good, cause I'm starving!”

Merlin looked at Arthur's stomach and up again with a teasing look on his face, “Doesn't quite look like it to me.”

“Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed, shocked and simultaneously surprised by Merlin's comeback, “That is really rude.”

Merlin looked at him innocently, “What is?”

“You calling me fat!”

“I didn't call you fat,” Merlin argued.

Arthur laughed, “I should eat all the eggs all by myself.”

“That's not gonna help you get in shape,” Merlin muttered under his breath as he focused on the eggs again.

In reply to that, Arthur punched Merlin on the arm, “Rude.”

Soon, the eggs were ready and the two sat down at the dinner table where they enjoyed their breakfast.

“This is really good,” Arthur remarked whilst chewing his breakfast.

With a modest smile, Merlin shook his head lightly, “It's just really basic breakfast, no special skills required.”

“Doesn't mean that it isn't worth mentioning.”

“Thanks,” Merlin smiled.

Arthur watched the other, who looked a bit absent-minded and exhausted, for a few seconds silently, not sure how to put his thoughts into words. Yet when Merlin looked back at him, waiting for Arthur to talk, he finally asked, “Are you alright though? I know that you got used to having those dreams, but... doesn't make it alright.”

Merlin nodded lightly, “It's... a bit hard to explain. Although the nightmares are often a bit frightening and nerve-wrecking, what makes them stay on my mind during the day and what keeps me from falling back asleep again, is the unknowing of the endings. So I just keep thinking about possible endings. But whatever I could possibly come up with, I just won't know whether or not it would be correct, so...”

“So you feel incomplete because the nightmares haven't finished yet and the ending is wildly open.”

Merlin nodded, “Yeah, that is quite accurate.”

“Have you ever tried going back to sleep? I've read that when you fall asleep in the exact same position you woke up in and that shortly after waking up that you can then return to your dream,” Arthur suggested hopefully.

“No, I can't. No matter how hard I try to fall back asleep, whatever it was I had just dreamed about will still be completely alive in my mind and keeps me awake. It's always like I've had the longest sleep and am just wide awake, no matter what little I actually slept.”

“I suppose that means your body doesn't need more sleep, so we at least know that it's not dangerous. Or at least not too much.”

Merlin chuckled slightly at the last part, “Maybe it will first come into view once it's too late, like when you catch a cold. Once you notice the symptoms you are already in too deep and you can't prevent the worst anymore.”

“Then let's hope that that is not the case for you,” there was a small pause before he continued, “You seem quite fond of Doctor Reed. What makes him so much better to your previous doctors?”

Merlin looked at Arthur with complete seriousness although there was still humor detectable in his eyes as he spoke, “You know when you're a kid and adults treat you as an adult to show that they respect you and hence earn your trust, but deep down they still look down at you as a child?”

Arthur nodded lightly.

“That's what most doctors are like. And you would think that this behavior changes with your age, but it doesn't. Because a lot of doctors out there just want to keep you from being scared and whatnot because they want you to have the best and most happy life you could lead and that is when they start lying to you. Don't get me wrong, I think optimism is great, but giving someone false hope isn't improving anything really. And I'm not stupid and I wasn't back then either. If there is one thing that I've always known about my condition, it's that people still haven't really understood dreams and how they work yet. So when a doctor tells you that they can help you get rid of nightmares, you know they are lying. And that's where Doctor Reed is different.”

“That's good,” Arthur smiled, glad that Merlin was in good hands, “But besides you needing a doctor you trust and like, it would be good if you also had one that could help you. Is there anything he can do?”

Thinking about the question made Merlin laugh, thinking about everything Doctor Reed had told him so far, “Well he sure got a theory. But that's all just wish thinking.”

Arthur shrugged lightly, “Who knows? Of course I don't know his theory, but who is to say that not even a wild theory made by a random doctor could actually hold some truth? Like you said, none of us yet know how dreams really work or how to figure out the nature of our dreams, but maybe you will be able to understand them one day after all. And see the ending of your dreams. And maybe get rid of them, too.”

With a nod Merlin agreed, “That would be nice. And surely, for all I know his crazy theory might be spot on, it's just... even if I were to know the true nature of them, I'd still not know what I'm having them for. Imagine if someone always told you stories that were all somehow connected to another, but you have no idea why someone would tell you these stories. Wouldn't you want to know why?”

“Indeed I would,” Arthur confirmed with a nod, “But maybe to understand that you first need to understand the dreams. One step after another. It's a bit like a puzzle, you have several pieces and two of them don't fit so you still need to find the one that connects them. And you'll find that piece, I'm sure. It just might take some time.”

“Then I'm hoping that it's not a one thousand piece puzzle.”

 

After the two had finished their breakfast, Arthur showed Merlin the entire house and showed him where everything was. Once that was done, the two started to clean the house, which had been empty for years, so they could actually enjoy being there and not be surrounded by germs and dust.

Although it was the middle of winter, the sun was shining on the cold snow, making the world seem in complete harmony. After putting on warm enough clothes they made their way outside, walking through the untouched snow while having their fingers intertwined with another.

“This is nice,” Merlin remarked even though his face felt like it was turning to ice.

With a nod the other agreed, “It really is.”

“How long do you think it will take for them to find us?”

For a few seconds Arthur just stared at Merlin. It wasn't as though he had forgotten about the fact that they had run away, but the peace and harmony of the moment had made him push the thought aside. “Probably not more than a couple of days.”

“And then what do I do? I don't want to go.”

“And I don't want you to go,” Arthur added as he stopped walking.

Returning the gesture, Merlin turned to Arthur with a confused expression, “So what do we do? I don't know how to convince them to stay here. I'm sure they wouldn't listen, but if there was a way to make sure they would. I just don't know what to do.”

“That's what we're here for though, isn't it? To buy ourselves as much time as we can in order to think things through. We'll find a solution, I'm sure.”

“Well, we haven't found one yet, who says we will find one at all?”

With a reassuring smile Arthur tried lifting the other up, “We will. But in order to really think things through we must have a clear mind. And that we achieve by calming down. Look around, Merlin. There is tons of beautiful snow around that is eagerly waiting for you to enjoy it as long as it lasts. You've spent your entire life thinking about your family, your life and your dreams. It's time to leave that aside for a day and have fun!”

To demonstrate what fun one could have, Arthur twirled around and as he did so, Merlin took the opportunity to gather some of the snow in his hands and form it to a ball, which he then threw right at Arthur's chest.

Putting on a played offended expression, Arthur exclaimed, “Merlin! How could you betray me like that?”

“All is fair in love and war,” Merlin defended himself, raising his hands.

“Is that your way of confessing your undying love for me?”

“Actually, it's my way of declaring war on you,” Merlin corrected him.

Arthur sent Merlin a serious expression before both of them got on the ground and formed snowballs, letting the snowball fight begin.

 

After both of them were full of snow and freezing too much to continue the fight, Arthur and Merlin decided to head back inside where they warmed up in front of the cozy fire place that was in the living room. Wrapped in blankets and with tea in their hands, the two cuddled together on the big sofa to get warm again as quick as possible.

“Just to make things clear: I definitely and without a doubt won,” Merlin declared.

With a disbelieving chuckle Arthur argued, “Actually, it was obviously my win.”

“Yeah. You winning yourself a cold.”

“If that's the case, you'll have to take care of me, Merlin.”

“I don't see that happening,” Merlin shrugged seriously.

“Only because you aren't psychic.”

Merlin stared at Arthur silently for a long time as if to imply that Arthur was wrong, but soon the two broke out in laughter. “Well, I'm not. But I'm not gonna play your servant if you were to get sick.”

With an amused grin Arthur argued, “Really? I don't know why, but I can see yourself as my servant.”

Merlin nodded sarcastically, “Me too,” perfectly hiding the fact that he was not lying at all, but that he had, in fact, seen himself as Arthur's servant in his dreams several times before.

“And I'm your king,” Arthur declared, getting a mocking snort from the other.

“Shouldn't you start with something smaller first? Like a prince.”

Arthur grinned proudly, “Either way, I'm your master now and you have to listen to my every word.”

“I also don't see that happening. Your fantasies are quite wild, _my lord_ ,” Merlin argued teasingly.

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur simply replied.

“Make me.”

With a smirk the blond said, “With pleasure,” before shifting his body to Merlin and leaning in for a deep kiss.

Merlin couldn't explain it, but feeling Arthur's lips on his own was a feeling soothing and right. It didn't take long for the deep kiss to turn into a passionate one, Merlin sliding on his back and pulling Arthur on top of him, while wrapping his arms around Arthur from under the blankets and soon under the blond's shirt to feel the warmth of his skin and maybe to make himself realize that it was actually happening. In the meantime, Arthur ran his fingers through the messy dark hair of Merlin.

“Maybe we should take this someplace bigger,” Arthur said in-between kisses.

“Like a bed?” Merlin suggested teasingly.

With a light nod Arthur agreed before the two, still glued together kissing, got up and slowly made their way to their shared bedroom. Once inside, they took of each other's shirts before climbing on the bed and continuing their passionate kisses.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :-)


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

 

His body lifted up. Quicker than it had ever done before. He was out of breath. That hadn't happened in a long time. He looked to the side and saw Arthur. His heart felt like it stopped but his breath was still heavy. He felt sick to his stomach. He got up. Grabbed some clothes. Went to the bathroom to shower and change. Dressed warm enough, he walked outside. Maybe the cool winter air would help. That was not a dream. He remembered.

When Merlin arrived outside, he didn't know what to do. He hadn't known what to do since he had woken up, but going outside was the first logical thing that had crossed his mind. The situation was unexpected but more importantly, it made him feel more insecure than ever before. Although he couldn't explain it, but while he was sleeping, his entire life had been shown to him. Not this life, but his previous life. And he remembered everything now. It was surreal to him to just think it, but Doctor Reed was right. He truly was Merlin, _the_ Merlin. And Arthur was _the_ Arthur. As crazy as it sounded, it was the truth. As much as he couldn't believe it before, it wasn't much better now, even though he remembered. Despite the strange feeling of remembering, it was as though a burden was lifted off his shoulders as soon as he came to realize that Arthur was alive now. The last time he had seen him, Arthur had died but now he was alive and leading a good, average life, without having to be king and leading battles and being betrayed and used by those close to him. And Arthur deserved that life more than anyone, Merlin thought. And finally, they were able to be friends, and more, because they weren't king and servant anymore, but both average people. As soon as the question of why he had been haunted by nightmares leading up to him remembering his past life. Like Doctor Reed and Arthur had said, answers would lead to more answers, but frankly, it just confused him. Moreover, his light-hearted excitement for Arthur was soon replaced by a feeling of emptiness inside him, and he knew exactly why, as the most frightening question formed in his mind: _Do I still have magic?_

 

When Arthur woke up, he didn't feel much better than Merlin did at first. A strange feeling of insecurity and confusion woke him up and it took him a moment to realize what had happened. What he had experienced wasn't a dream or mere fantasy, but it was the truth. But it couldn't be. The surreal idea of him randomly remembering his past life as King Arthur, the greatest leader Britain had ever had, was insane to him and his rational way of thinking refused to believe it to be true. But he was more sure of him than of anything else. He knew everything about his past life, and it suddenly seemed clearer than his current life. He remembered thoughts, feelings, wounds, friends, family, places, smells, tastes and memories. That wasn't a mere illusion forming inside his brain. The memory of Mordred's sword piercing through his flesh was vivid, just like everything else was. Maybe one could imagine how it must feel like to be stabbed, yet he remembered the exact feeling of it as if it happened right now. Not just because of the wound and the poison that were starting to near his heart to kill him, but he remembered the shock of Mordred's betrayal too well. That wasn't the fabrication of fantasy or hundreds of texts he had studied about the Arthurian legend. It was his very own memory. As much as it frightened him, he could feel himself be relieved by the fact that he was alive. And so was Merlin. _Merlin!_ The thought of him made Arthur turn around quicker than ever, only to find the other side of the bed to be empty. Panic started rising in him, making him quickly jump out of bed and put on clothes. _Where was the idiot now?_

He searched the house and every inch of it, without a single sign of Merlin. The only explanation that rushed into Arthur's brain was that Merlin had experienced the same. And then Arthur stopped, suddenly realizing it all – that was the reason Merlin had been in the mental hospital. His nightmares were about them, about Camelot. Yet, Merlin had told him that he didn't understand them himself, meaning he probably didn't remember either until now. But why wasn't he anywhere to be found? Arthur was almost going crazy until he spotted a dark spot from the corner of his eye. He turned around, seeing Merlin sit outside in the snow, wearing a dark winter jacket. Arthur quickly put on his own winter jacket and a pair of boots before jogging outside to where Merlin was.

“Here you are, I was so worried that you might have ran away from me!” Arthur stated from behind Merlin.

Without turning around, his eyes fixed on the white snow in front of him, Merlin replied with a quiet voice, “Sorry for worrying you. I'll leave a note next time.”

Noticing the insecure tone in the other's voice, Arthur walked in front of Merlin and kneed down to be able to talk to him eye-to-eye. “If you continue sitting out here without moving _you_ will be the one catching a cold. And _I_ will certainly _not_ take care of you,” Arthur tried cheering him up in a teasing manner.

“I'll be fine,” Merlin said with a light chuckle.

“Something is on your mind. What is it?”

Merlin met Arthur's gaze for a moment while he replied, “Nothing, really,” before looking down again.

“I know that's a lie.”

“Really? How so?” Merlin asked, looking up again.

For a couple of seconds, Arthur simply stared at Merlin in silence to confirm his suspicions, “You remember, don't you?”

Although he obviously tried to hide it, Merlin was more shocked than before, “How- How do you know?”

Sorting his thoughts, Arthur moved a bit to sit next to Merlin, his head turned to him as he spoke, “Because I do.”

“Wha- since when?”

“I woke up remembering,” Arthur recalled, not really sure of the situation himself.

Merlin looked at Arthur, not sure how to feel about the situation. After all, Arthur remembering meant for Merlin's idea of Arthur now leading a completely average life to crush. With a light nod he confirmed, “Me too.”

“Is that what your nightmares are about?”

Merlin nodded again, “Yeah.”

“But that's good, at least now you not only know why you're having them, but you also know the endings to your dreams.”

“I guess,” Merlin agreed, looking down again. He was obviously not as content as Arthur had expected him to be. After all, that was a fresh start for them. Surely, they had made their negative memories too, but everything concerning them was back again and Arthur thought it would improve their relationship, seeing as they now knew another even better than they did yesterday.

“Then why are you sitting out here all by yourself looking all sad?”

After a moment of thought, Merlin took all his courage as he looked at Arthur again and, with an unsteady voice, explained, “I don't have magic anymore.”

To his own surprise, Arthur was as unsatisfied about the statement as Merlin was. When Merlin had revealed his magic to Arthur all those years ago, he had wished to rather here the words he had heard now, as magic had made him scared and he had feared that Merlin was not the same person anymore and was going to turn his back against him just like everyone else. All his life he had been raised not to trust magic and to hunt those with it. And although he wasn't searching out for those with magic, he had not made good experience with it. Just after he gave some thought into it, he realized all the things Merlin had done for him and Camelot, and it was then that Arthur realized that magic wasn't bad itself, it was about the person having it. And Merlin was the proof that magic could be used for good. Despite the fact that Arthur had only known about Merlin's magic for the last day of his life, he knew how much it meant to Merlin, he could see that. And if he hadn't known it before, he was certain of it now. Magic was what defined Merlin, at least according to his textbooks. Of course there was so much more to him than that, but he knew that he was good and that he had done so much good with it. Personally, Arthur couldn't relate to Merlin. While Arthur had merely lost his royal status, Merlin had lost a part of him and Arthur couldn't imagine what that must be like.

“A- Are you sure?” Arthur asked with a bit of hope.

Merlin nodded, his voice sounding broken and emotional, “Look around, Arthur. There is no magic here. I tried, but I... I can't. It's not there.”

Merlin was clearly upset about it and Arthur didn't expect any less of him. He wanted to make him feel better, but he knew that the only way to do that was by giving him his magic back, which wasn't in his power.

“Is there anything I can do?” Arthur asked with the most calm voice he managed.

“No.”

“I know you're upset and so much more. I can't understand it, because something like that has not happened to me. But you have to try to-”

“I'm not gonna try anything!” Merlin burst out angrily, flashing his eyes at Arthur as he got up, “You are exactly right, you don't understand it and you never will. You lost your title, but this is so much more. It's who I am and without it, I'm not myself.”

Arthur got up, wanting to calm Merlin down, but the raven-haired was already running back inside and Arthur could hear him locking himself in one of the rooms.

 

Shortly after Arthur decided to go back inside and eat breakfast instead of bothering Merlin because Arthur was well aware that Merlin now needed time for himself and there was nothing Arthur could to do improve the situation, so he stayed away and gave Merlin the time he needed, there was a knock on the front door. Arthur felt his heart race as he imagined his father and Merlin's parents standing there. Carefully opening the door, he felt a wave of relief coming over him as the face of Doctor Reed came into view.

“I brought some food, you probably barely have any anymore,” he greeted Arthur while holding shopping bags in his hands.

Arthur took one of the bags and the two men walked inside the kitchen to put them down.

“Where's Merlin, is he doing alright?” The doctor asked after looking around without seeing his patient.

“He's in the bedroom, he's not doing too well right now,” Arthur explained.

Doctor Reed was immediately concerned about his patient as he quickly asked, “Why? Did something happen?”

“Well,” Arthur said calmly, not sure how to put it, “I guess you could say that.”

“And what exactly does that mean?”

“Can I ask you something first, doctor?”

He was surprised by the turn in conversation at first, but quickly regained speech, “Sure, what is it?”

“Merlin told me about his dreams and mentioned that you're having a theory about it, but said it was a bit crazy. I'd like to hear it anyway. Would you please do me the honor to let me in on your theory?”

“Well,” the doctor looked down for a moment in slight bashfulness. It was one thing telling Merlin about the theory, but letting a third party in on it was different, although, in a way, Arthur wasn't exactly a third party, at least seeing as he was an essential part of the entire story too, “It's really just crazy. I was just trying to find some explanation. I've never met anyone like Merlin, his case is certainly unique.”

“But what _is_ the theory exactly?”

It was obvious that the doctor was having a hard time deciding whether or not he should tell Arthur. Yet it was hard not to obey to those soft blue eyes, wherefore the doctor finally gave in and started, “Since Merlin has told you about his dreams, you're probably having an image of the world those dreams take place in. It's magical, like a fantasy world, but it sounds medieval as well. Those two factors, in addition to his name, lead to an easy sounding conclusion of Merlin being the reincarnation of _the_ Merlin.”

The blond looked at the older man for a few seconds without saying anything. Although to him this wasn't odd, it was obvious that the doctor wasn't completely convinced. With that, if Arthur told him that it was, in fact, the truth, he would probably still be overwhelmed by it, despite having created the theory. Knowing that there was no point in lying about what had happened, Arthur simply stated, “Your theory is on point.”

Confused over the words he asked, “What?”

“Your theory,” Arthur repeated, “About Merlin's dreams. It's true.”

“You're making fun of me, aren't you?” Although he had been serious about his theory, he hadn't put much faith in it to come true.

Arthur lightly shook his head, “No, you're right.”

“What? So everything he's dreamed... it all happened?”

Arthur nodded a bit in confirmation.

“The dragons? The unicorn? The beasts? A-and magic, wa-was it really banned?”

Again, Arthur nodded to everything, “It's all real.”

“But-”

“It's all real,” Arthur repeated with honesty in his eyes, trying to hide his enjoyment of the other's speechless reaction as much as possible.

“I don't know what to say.”

“I can see that,” Arthur grinned.

With his mind slowly returning back to normal, the doctor made some realizations, “ _You_ 're King Arthur,” he stated, about to bow down in respect but cut off by Arthur.

“Please, don't, Doctor. I'm not king anymore, there's no need to do that,” he declared friendly.

With an accepting nod he changed the topic, “So, about Merlin...”

“He is having a... hard time because he, apparently, lost his magic,” Arthur explained, now serious again. He was still feeling helpless about the topic, not only because he had never known much truth about magic, but also because he was helpless to help his friend now.

“I suppose getting back his memory from who he was doesn't include getting back his magic.”

Arthur agreed, “He's been born without it now after all. But that doesn't help him, he's feeling terrible and locked himself inside the bedroom. I figured he needs some time on his own.”

“That might be for the better, but I'd prefer talking to him anyway. Especially at a time like this he shouldn't be alone. Besides feeling terrible, I'm sure he's mostly just scared. Merlin is being associated with magic after all, it's practically who he is. Although I haven't had the pleasure to actually meet the real deal, I think it's save to say that he doesn't feel himself right now.”

“That's basically what he said too.”

Doctor Reed could tell how Arthur was feeling, so he put on a reassuring smile, “Come on, we should check on him. He might not need a doctor right now, but he definitely needs you, even if he doesn't give you that feeling.”

Slowly but surely Arthur nodded, “Okay.”

The two made their way to the bedroom in which Merlin had locked himself in. Standing in front of the door, Arthur looked at the doctor who nodded towards him reassuringly, giving Arthur the courage to nod softly on the door, “Merlin? Doctor Reed is here, don't you want to say hello?”

“Come in,” Merlin said, confusing the men, due to his voice not sounding sad or scared at all, but rather calm and concentrated.

Arthur was about to say something before hearing the door being unlocked, which answered his question before even getting the chance of posing it. Pressing down the door handle, Arthur carefully opened the door for him and the doctor to take a look inside. As soon as they saw Merlin, they were speechless and unable to move, for different reasons.

In the small room was Merlin, sitting on the ground, his palms in front of him, facing up as he looked around the room that was now filled with colorful lights moving around the room.

The two older men watched the scene, trying to process what was happening.

“Your magic,” Arthur started with effort.

“It's back,” Merlin finished the sentence for the other, his face brighter than the lights floating through the air, making Arthur question whether the real magic was the lights or that look in Merlin's eyes.

Arthur only nodded, not sure how to feel about it. Of course he was more than delighted to see Merlin back to being his old light-hearted self, yet simultaneously Arthur himself had not yet had the time to adjust to magic. When Merlin had told him about his magic, Arthur had been too weak and had had too less time to get used to it. Although it was obvious from Merlin's innocent happiness that there was nothing to be afraid of, Arthur was still feeling a bit unsure and frightened.

Taking a quick glimpse at the blond, Merlin softly, yet confidently ordered, “Come here.”

Despite the sound of Merlin's voice, Arthur still couldn't get himself to move, until their gazes met, followed by a warm smile from Merlin, which finally brought Arthur back to his senses. He slowly moved towards Merlin before sitting down in front of him.

“You too, Doctor,” Merlin added as he looked up at the older man, who took a moment to process until he walked to where the two where sitting and sat down next to Arthur.

Concentrating on his magic again, the raven-haired summoned the magic back to himself and made it take on the form of Camelot.

The connection to home with the feeling of familiarity it gave them, which was one of the main reasons Merlin had chosen it, calmed Arthur down.

“Incredible,” was all the doctor managed to get out, followed by a giggle from Merlin. It was a nice change to receive a positive reaction to his magic, and as far as he remembered, the first time that someone was amazed by it from the beginning. Of course Merlin was aware that not everyone would react that way. If the public were to find out, they would most likely send him to scientists to be able to understand magic. But they wouldn't, and Merlin didn't care about whether or not people would know, he just wanted Arthur to be alright with it.

And the blond was slowly starting to like it. The image of Camelot had relaxed him. A positive association was what he needed to get a new, real image of magic. And Arthur was already aware that magic was not how he had been raised to believe, yet he had spent too much time in that false belief to be able to change his view and feelings towards it in the blink of an eye.

“Is that what I think it is?” Was Doctor Reed's first reaction after finding enough words to form a sentence.

“That's Camelot,” Merlin confirmed with a smile.

“I miss it,” he quietly admitted, his eyes still focused on the magical lights.

With a warm smile Merlin agreed, “Me too.”

“That's amazing,” the doctor noted.

Arthur nodded with a confident smile, “It is. Merlin, show Doctor Reed the sword!”

A bit surprised by Arthur's enthusiasm leading him to order Merlin to use his magic, it took him a second before making the image of Camelot disappear and replacing it with the legendary sword, which Arthur had pulled out of a stone.

“The Sword in the Stone,” the doctor recognized in awe of its beauty and real look.

Merlin was about to say something, but the entire room went still as a loud banging on the front door echoed through the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :-)


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

 

Banging. That was the only sound audible. Their hearts felt like they stopped and consequently, so did their breaths. Merlin's magical portrayal of The Sword in the Stone faded, adding to the dead silence. None of them knew what to do or what to say. It was obvious to all of them who was banging on the door. Especially by the strong banging, there was no doubt that this wasn't a friendly neighbor welcoming them there, but someone who was furious and ready to start a fight.

Merlin had been anxious about the entire action of him and Arthur running away even before he remembered, but now that he did, he was even less happy about facing Uther and having to defend himself again. He remembered his last conversation with Uther _Pendragon_ too well, when said man was dead and haunting everyone in Camelot. He wasn't just furious at Merlin for having magic, but also mad at himself for not having noticed. It had felt too good to tell him the truth, about having been born with it, but there was the familiar look in Uther's eyes, which he always had when talking about magic. It was hatred more intense than anything Merlin had ever seen before. Hatred that made it obvious to every idiot that he would never accept him for his true self. Merlin was sure that now Uther was a great man, he had seen in Camelot that he cared a lot about his children, but even now he was not able to be honest about himself in front of the older man. Yet Merlin knew that the older man did not remember the past, so there was not a lot to worry about. His bigger concern was his parents, who were about to drag him to a different continent, too far away from the one person he wanted to be with. Those fears aside, he still didn't want to drag Arthur and the doctor into this as well, despite them having said that they don't mind. But this was his life and his fight, as it had always been and in the end, there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

“Come on, up you guys,” the doctor said with a sigh as he got up, “You won't be able to hide forever.”

The two looked at another and Arthur could see the fear in the other's eyes, wherefore he sent him a warm smile and helped him up, “We can do this, Merlin, I promise. We've made it out of worse after all, haven't we?”

A small smile formed on Merlin's face, Arthur's optimism was what he needed. Once up on their feet, the three left the small room and made their way towards the wooden door.

There was a short, silent argument about who was to open the door, each of them meaning to be the one opening it and thus practically taking in most of the anger they were probably to experience by the others. In the end, Arthur was the one who grabbed the door handle and so opened the wooden piece. The blond was immediately greeted by the emotionally overcome faces of his father and Merlin's parents.

“What is going on, Arthur?” Uther demanded in a strict tone before Arthur even had the chance to invite them in.

Despite his angry father, Arthur remained calm, remembering much angrier times of his father, “How about you come in first, so we can all have a talk.”

Before Uther was able to have another say, Christy nodded, “I think so, too,” and stepped inside.

Once Arthur had led everyone into the living room, where they all sat down, Arthur, Merlin and the doctor on one sofa, and their parents on the one opposite them, they were all full of things they wanted to say.

Without surprising the boys, Uther was the first to speak up, “What is going on here, Doctor Reed? With whose permission did you let a patient leave the hospital without informing me about it?”

“Because he-” the doctor began, but was cut off.

“I don't think that is the major problem here, your reasons for running off without telling anyone and making us worry about you like that is far more important now,” Christy insisted.

“Also, Arthur, what on earth do you think is correct in helping someone run off? Did I not tell you often enough that you must not have any contact with the patients?”

“Shut up!” Merlin snapped, jumping up from his seat, “All of you, just shut up! If you already took the time to drive all the way here you might as well could have used that to think about what you're going to say instead of everyone just blurting out with hundreds of questions without giving anyone the time to answer them. If you just came here to let out your angry, fine, but then you can leave again because that is just a waste of time for everyone!”

“Merlin,” Christy tried calming her son down, but was immediately cut off by him.

“No!” He prevented her, or anyone else, from interfering. He had been mad at them for putting him in other people's hands before and was still mad for them not wanting to listen when he told them he wanted to stay. Yet the memory of his past life was only adding to his rage about always having to listen to others instead of being his own, free person, “You are so convinced of yourselves that you don't think it's necessary to even spend a split second thinking about what I want and need because _you are adults and so experienced and know so much_. But whatever kind of experience or knowledge you have does not in the slightest compare to the knowledge I have of myself, so did you ever consider that maybe I got tired of being your little toy that you give to various people that can apparently fix it. Maybe I got tired of my entire life revolving around some goddamn nightmares that I grew accustomed to anyway, meaning they don't even influence me anymore and I don't care. What I care about is my life right now. And do you wanna know why? Because if I met someone who asked me about myself, there would barely be anything I could tell them besides my medical history, which isn't the most interesting stuff to hear about. Frankly, I don't even know you so well, because I had to spend the majority of my life with doctors. So go ahead and leave for America, just don't drag me with you. And concerning these two, if anyone here considers punishing them or getting them in some sort of trouble, forget it right now. They are only doing what is right, and that is being a friend, there is nothing wrong about that.”

The room fell silent, mostly everyone was shocked, but Arthur additionally felt pride. It was good to hear Merlin being honest with everyone like that and he was more than glad to witness the confident speech of the other, especially knowing the background of what Merlin went through back in Camelot.

“Merlin-”

“Listen, mom,” Merlin interrupted her, now talking calmly s he sat down again, “All I want to do is live a happy, normal life. I don't want to move from country to country and keep on switching doctors and not being able to have friends.”

Merlin's father nodded in agreement, “We do understand that, but you had been against the idea of the hospital so much, we thought you'd be glad to get out of there.”

“Even if I hadn't changed my mind, I don't want to be dragged from place to place like that. It's kind of time for me to get a job, but I have not even been given the opportunity to think what I want to do and I won't be able to if I can't start having a steady life. I don't mean to be a burden to you, but I can't do this on my own, so all I'm asking is for you to support me in what _I_ want to do with my life.”

“You're not a burden to us, love,” his mother smiled soothingly to him, “But I have already quit my job here and everything is settled with the new job and new house and everything is ready.”

“Dad,” Arthur threw in, turning his attention to his father, “Couldn't Merlin live with us? He can cook, clean and whatever else needs to be done in the house. It's close to university and it's not like we don't have enough room in our house.”

Though he was mostly glad that someone had made a suggestion, Merlin had to put his best effort into staying serious and not smiling brightly like an idiot over Arthur suggestion him moving in with them, which was, in a way, like the old times.

“A cook and house cleaner would definitely make things easier. However, this isn't any of our business, you can't just decide to split a family like that.”

“And I can't just drop Merlin off at a stranger's place,” Christy added, “Even though Mister Masterson is a trustworthy man, and a doctor in addition, but you have just met Arthur a couple of months ago and even though the two of you ran away together doesn't mean you'll manage living together for more than just a couple of days.”

The two boys looked at another a little hopelessly. Although they've had the best argument of having been friends for much longer, and certainly having been through more than anyone else in the room, saying that they knew another from their past lives would be the worst move to make for them.

Luckily, the doctor was there to help and support, “Admittedly, a few months aren't proof for that, yet I believe us all to be wanting Merlin's well-being, and from my observations I can reassure all of you that Merlin's psychological state has clearly improved together with his friendship with Arthur. Besides that, I'd also like to add that there are friendships that you can tell will last forever, even if they aren't that old yet. But frankly, there is no reason for me to justify them seeing as it doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to realize that these two are hardly separable. There is just something unique and _magical_ about their relationship that I suppose none of us will ever quite understand.”

“You seem fairly convinced that Arthur's suggestion is the best option.”

“Frankly speaking, I don't see any reason against it. Not to mention, it won't be more than a few years until they'd both move out anyway, it's not like anyone is taking a bit risk with this. It's really only solving problems the easiest and best way. With him living near the hospital, he can continue seeing me regularly.”

Arthur grinned with satisfaction, “See, my plan is perfect.”

“I suppose there isn't really anything that speaks against it. That is, of course, as long as you two agree with it,” Uther concluded, looking at Merlin's parents.

The couple looked at another, unsure of what to say. They, too, did not have arguments that spoke against it. Merlin did seem content with not only Doctor Reed, but also with Arthur. There was no doubt to Merlin's happiness here and clearly, it would make everything easier if they were to realize that plan. Of course they would dearly miss their son, but they had never seen him as happy as he was now.

With a small smile on her voice, Christy looked at Merlin and declared, “It may not seem that way, but your father and I do want the best for you. Sometimes that is not what is in your interest, but it's what we believe to be the most helpful. And right now it's quite clear for everyone to see that you are happy here and there is obviously no point in taking you with us. Besides, it's not like this is a final decision, so I don't think it would be a grave mistake to let you stay here and be happy.”

An exciting grin formed on Arthur's and Merlin's face. All the fear that the both of them had carried with them for the past week seemed to vanish in an instant, pushed away by a wave of relief.

“Are you serious?” Merlin asked happily, not able to believe it to be true.

“Of course I am. If no one has to say anything against it, it's obviously the right thing to do,” Christy smiled back at her son.

 

A couple of minutes later, after further details had been discussed, the adults went back to their cars already, while the boys went to pack their things.

“Do you remember that one time Morgana came to Camelot to attack us?” Arthur asked first thing the two were alone in the bedroom.

Looking up from his suitcase, Merlin looked at the other, clueless, “No, what?”

“Well I said, _If I need a servant in the next life..._ , to which you replied with _Don't ask me._ And now look at us, packing for you to move in with me to play servant of our family,” Arthur grinned with satisfaction, to which Merlin could only roll his eyes.

“Shut up.”

“You said, and I quote, _I'm happy to be your servant. Till the day I die_.”

Merlin took a pillow and threw it at Arthur, “Don't push it,” he threatened, but immediately giggled at the sight of Arthur's now messy hair.

Putting the pillow back to bed, Arthur replied, “It was basically a marriage vow.”

“Maybe I should think this whole plan over,” Merlin thought out loud.

“You couldn't, you'd miss me way too much.”

With a small smile Merlin nodded, “I would.”

Arthur was a bit surprised by the unhesitant agreement, but didn't mean to turn this conversation into a sad talk about being without the other. So instead, he went over to the other and pulled Merlin into a deep kiss.

“I actually quite like that. We're gonna have fun like in the good old days,” Arthur grinned into the kiss.

Rolling his eyes, Merlin said, “Of course _you_ 'd like it that way. After all that means that you don't have to clean your room anymore or do anything really.”

“I've had a pretty hard job.”

“Indeed,” Merlin nodded, “But nothing is harder than babysitting the King of Prats.”

Arthur chuckled hearing that title, “Don't forget, it's your _destiny_ ,” he teased with a grin.

“Shut up.”

“There is just one way for that.”

Without hesitation Merlin leaned back into the kiss. Although it was, admittedly strange to be Arthur's servant again, but, and that he wouldn't admit, he didn't mind. Being Arthur's servant was, for some strange reason he would probably never understood, exactly the way he liked it and wanted things to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, reviews would be much appreciated! I hope you enjoyed the story :-)


End file.
